Choosing A Good Nickname Can Be A Monumental Task

First of all, understand that the world of sports passed through the rabbit hole long ago and that it can get a little squirrely down there with all the odd characters.

A quarterback scores a touchdown and then celebrates by head-butting a concrete wall, knocking himself cockeyed and out of the game. Goofy stuff goes on all the time.

In this curious climate, Nashville’s new hockey team was christened a couple of weeks ago. Now, if you didn’t know Nashville was getting an NHL team, you probably missed the fact that Carolina also has one.

And by the way, Atlanta, too.

And, oh yes, Columbus and Minnesota.

The four-team expansion - Carolina is the reincarnation of the failed Hartford Whalers - will swell NHL membership to 30 teams by 2000, spreading player talent a little thinner and nicknames a little thicker.

New hockey teams need basic stuff pucks, sticks, helmets and nick names. The first three are easy. The last is more of a challenge.

Already taken by minor league franchises were dandies like The Beast of New Haven, the Albany River Rats, the Jacksonville Lizard Kings, Mississippi Sea Wolves and Orlando Solar Bears.

The NHL already has Coyotes, Panthers, Sharks, Bruins, and Penguins, leaving the animal kingdom picked over rather thoroughly. Copycat names are frowned upon, eliminating a large number of possibilities. This left the new teams groping.

Carolina did something original, calling its team the Hurricanes. This had to be a big hit with those poor souls along the state’s coastline who have been battered by storms over the years.

Atlanta’s previous NHL team was called the Flames, an odd choice considering how William Tecumseh Sherman dealt with the city in the waning days of the Civil War. Given a second chance, the city’s expansion team will be called the Thrashers, named after the tiny state bird because … well, owner Ted Turner likes tiny birds.

What chance does a little creature like that have in the rough and tumble world of hockey? Not to worry. Management has assured fans that the thrasher is a tough customer.

“They’re a real strong bird, real aggressive,” biologist E.J. Williams said. “They do most of their foraging on the ground, turning over leaves, going through brush. They’ll fuss at you.”

Fussy birds. That works, certainly every bit as well as Mighty Ducks, which was already taken by Anaheim.

Columbus picked Blue Jackets, leaving some people a little bewildered. The choice was a tribute to local Civil War heritage. Ohio had more soldiers in the Union Army per capita than any other state. The mascot will be Stinger, described as a red-eyed snarling bug with a thick stinger, wearing a federal blue jacket with stars on the collar and a Union Army hat, worn at a jaunty angle. Instead of a rifle, he will be equipped with a fluorescent green hockey stick.

Minnesota, with three years of lead time, has not decided yet and is mulling over six finalists. The choices: Blue Ox, Freeze, Northern Lights, Voyageurs, White Bears and Wild. With the baseball team for sale, Twins may be available.

That leaves Nashville, which begins play next season. Ownership was not about to follow Turner’s bird route, and Columbus’ Civil War idea probably would not have received a lot of support in Tennessee.

And so, the proprietors of the team, determined to avoid wimpiness at all costs, decided to go in a very different direction. Nashville’s new NHL team will be called … drum roll, please, maestro … the Predators.

The Predators?

Yeah, Predators, defined as one that preys, destroys or devours. You got a problem with that?

Think about it. Predators, also used by the Orlando team in the Arena Football League, is a perfect name for the chip-on-the-shoulder attitude so prevalent in sports these days. The inhabitants of the rabbit hole approve wholeheartedly.

And when the next expansion arrives, Killers will still be available.