Cheap Seats

Fuzzy logic

Are today’s athletes less dedicated than their predecessors?

Golfer Fuzzy Zoeller thinks not. His take on the current crop of professional players: “The young guys today play golf, go to their hotel, have an iced tea. It’s a horrible way to live, but my hat’s off to ‘em. The fact that I’ve seen guys stone-cold drunk beat guys stone-cold sober tells you what kind of game golf is.”

Food for thought

Statistics we don’t know how we lived without, courtesy of a major pizza chain:

Pizza orders dropped 11 percent nationwide during the Mike Tyson-Evander Holyfield ear-biting fight. However, on orders that were placed, 45 percent of customers requested meat-topped pizzas.

The day after Eddie DeBartolo stepped down as owner of the San Francisco 49ers, tipping of pizza deliverers in San Francisco decreased 10 percent.

On the day Michael Jordan announced his contract signing with the Chicago Bulls, tipping in New York City decreased by 14 percent.

No wonder Michael’s a winner

Olympic champion sprinter Michael Johnson had some time to kill in Los Angeles while taping a TV commercial. He asked for a treadmill so he could exercise while he waited.

A treadmill was brought in, but it was too slow to suit Johnson. So, the crew came up with another one - the type used to train race horses.

Sometimes golfers don’t like birdies

Australian golfer Lucas Parsons regained his composure after a bird swooped at him on the first tee at the Coolum Classic in Australia. In fact, he ended the day with the lead.

Parson, starting his second round, was in the midst of his backswing when the bird dived at his face.

Still shaken by the aerial attack, Parsons missed making a birdie on the hole.

Good thing the birdie missed him.

Showing a little spirit

Players from a team named America were stripped nearly naked by fans who invaded the field after watching their side win the Colombian soccer championship Sunday at Cali, Colombia.

Hundreds of supporters broke through a police cordon after the final whistle and stripped the players.

Undeterred, the team completed a lap of honor, using flags and anything else with the team’s red colors to cover themselves.

The birth of a long season

Seattle Seahawks defensive end Phillip Daniels is losing his head over his newborn daughter. Daniels’ girlfriend gave birth to a 4-pound, 7-ounce daughter before the Seahawks played at Oakland, Calif. The experience had a profound impact on Daniels.

“I was lightheaded all day,” he said. “I’m still lightheaded.”

Daniels had five tackles and two sacks.

“Sometimes I had to come out of the game because I was dizzy,” he said. “At times I felt like I was floating out there.”

The way the Seahawks played this season, lots of players’ wives must have given birth.

The last word …

“Any guy that can publicize the sport of boxing without starting a riot or biting someone’s ear off is good for the sport.”

- Lou DiBella, HBO’s senior vice president for programming.

, DataTimes