Cheap Seats

Cheesy behavior

Not all souvenirs are created equal. The manufacturers of the Cheese Tops hats favored by Packers fans won a copyright battle with the makers of the Cheesehead hat.

No sooner had that been settled, then Cheese Tops was sued by the maker of an inflatable head wedge called the Cheese Hat, alleging copyright infringement.

Also available are such products as Cheesehead cologne, earrings and cuff links in the shape of cheese wedges and Cheesehead Beer.

Who needs Papa Joe?

Earlier in the season, Detroit Pistons center Brian Williams came under fire for his comments on the appointments of Dee Kantner and Violet Palmer, who became the first female officials in a major professional sports league in the United States.

Williams contended that the marketing of the WNBA had much to do with the hiring, adding: “They’re going to try to incorporate the two, sell more hats and T-shirts to women.”

Now he weighs in on the NBA’s decision to replace the slam-dunk contest with a competition called 2Ball, in which an NBA player and a WNBA player team up and compete against other mixed pairs. Says Williams: “That ought to be like watching corn pop and grass grow.

“That’s going to be great,” Williams added with more than a tinge of sarcasm. “Why don’t they have the slam-dunk contest with the guys dunking, then have the trampoline for the WNBA girls, like the mascots?”

WNBA to Williams: Take a flying leap.

Spittin’ image a poor one

Even the Oakland Raiders, who have the reputation as the dirtiest team in the NFL, have scruples.

They think punching, holding, tripping and maybe even an occasional kick can be within the boundaries of fair play. But spitting, as practiced last week by Denver linebacker Bill Romanowski, is definitely out.

Cornerback Albert Lewis was one of several Raiders who felt Romanowski got off easy.

“Spitting is an insult,” said Lewis, completing his 15th season. “It’s not like a late hit. What he is saying by spitting is, ‘I don’t respect you. You’re not human.’ “To me, war is war, but even war has its standards. When you look at an opponent, you don’t see them as animals. If I could ask him a question, it would be, ‘What were you thinking? Were you raised in a barn?”’

Well, he is a Bronco.

Hey, this isn’t Elmo

“I’ve been in the league five years,” said Raiders tackle Lincoln Kennedy, “and I’ve had everything possible done to me. I’ve had people punch me, kick me and pull my private parts. I’ve had my eye gouged.

“In an (exhibition) game at Atlanta last year, there was a fumble. I went after it and then I heard their guys saying, ‘No. 72’s got it.” The next thing I know my legs are being pulled apart and another guy sticks a finger into my side and says, ‘Tickle, tickle.’ I told him, ‘Hey, leave me alone, I’m not ticklish.”’

The last word …

“They’re liable to spend as much on the UPS delivery as they would if they wound up keeping everybody.”

- Relief pitcher Dennis Cook about Florida players getting their World Series rings, after he, and several other Marlins were traded.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo