What You Say Can Help Others
Dear Ann Landers: Please print my letter. My situation is a side of teenage pregnancy that no one talks about.
I am a teenager, but inside I am old. I was told to be careful and not get pregnant because it would change my life forever. How true! Over and over, we’ve heard the usual reasons why, so there is no need for me to repeat them. Here’s the side I didn’t know about:
No one ever told me that at 17 years of age, I would be picking out a headstone and making funeral arrangements.
No one ever told me that at 17, I would be standing on a hill with my boyfriend as we buried our son.
And no one ever told me that my child’s life might end two weeks before he could take his first breath.
The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me. I have always been healthy. It was just one of those things that sometimes happens and no one knows why. I don’t blame anyone. I just have to accept it. But I’ve given you one more reason to practice abstinence and not get pregnant until you are mature and married and equipped to handle the responsibility of whatever comes.
I am now going through something no teenager should ever have to face. And they were right - my life will never be the same. - Seventeen Going on 30 in Nebraska
Dear Nebraska: You have been through a terrible ordeal. Other teenagers are sure to learn from your story.
What’s done is done, dear. Your past is now history. Look ahead, and decide the direction in which you want your life to go. Good luck and God bless.
Dear Ann Landers: “Lonely in Leesburg, Fla.,” complained that her husband never talks to her, although he enjoys talking to others. That had a familiar ring.
My wife comes from a large family, and they are all talkers. When they are together, there are always five or six conversations going on at the same time. They change subjects, contradict one another, argue and engage in one-upmanship. On the other hand, I was raised in a small family and was taught that it is rude to interrupt when someone else is talking.
As our marriage matured, my wife had more and more to say about less and less. She could spend an hour telling me about a friend’s grandchild or a co-worker’s vacation. If I expressed disinterest in the subject or said I didn’t know that person, she would go into yet more detail. When I would try to change the subject, she would continue to jabber, contradict me or just interrupt in mid-sentence to tell me what the cat was doing.
If I sat down to watch the news, she would rattle off all the funny one-liners from yesterday’s sitcoms (which I abhor). Gradually, it became evident that I was wasting my breath, so I decided to just shut up and let her do all the talking.
I’ve observed this same situation with older couples. Usually, but not always, it’s the wife who is gabby and the husband who is the silent one. What “Lonely” needs is not counseling but a piece of tape over her mouth and a course in effective listening. - Selectively Silent in the South
Dear Silent: Your marriage sounds like a nightmare. The hostility burns right through the paper. I hope you will seriously consider counseling to learn how to cope with your negative feelings about your wife. When you “quiet” fellows explode, it’s like the shot heard ‘round the world.