I Cannot Answer Your Questions
Dear Ann Landers: No lectures, please. Just your sound advice. I’ll be committing suicide as soon as I get some things settled, which should take a few weeks. Don’t try to talk me out of it. My mind is made up.
I am writing to ask how I can make it easier for my husband, family and co-workers. My health is fine, I have a good job and I put on a happy face. To all outside observers, my life is neat and tidy. Word of my suicide is going to be a tremendous shock to everyone. If you knew me, you would say I was the last woman in the world who would take her own life.
Should I do nothing and let family and friends deal with it in their own way, or should I leave a letter? If leaving a letter would help them, what should I say? Should I suggest phone numbers of people they can call for counseling? Should I tell my family members how much I love them?
Obviously, I cannot talk to anyone about this, but I do need to know how to make it less painful. Thank you for providing answers to my questions. - Somewhere in California
Dear California: You say your mind is made up and you are going to commit suicide. You ask that I not try to talk you out of it. OK, I won’t.
You want to know if you should leave a letter. Sorry, I can’t advise you on that because I have no idea what you would say. You tell me your health is fine, you have a good job and there is no sign of trouble in your life. Frankly, I’m baffled. You ask how to make your death less painful to those who love you. I don’t have a clue. The pain a suicide inflicts on those left to mourn is excruciating, and it never goes away.
Some experts who know a great deal more about the subject than I do say people kill themselves because they are in too much pain to go on. Obviously, this is your situation. Please see a professional who can give you some medication to stop the pain. I promise you that in a matter of weeks you will be glad you did.
Dear Ann Landers: It pleased me to learn from your column that women are saying no to unflattering styles and terrible fabrics. I would like to weigh in with a man’s perspective.
What is it with the never-ending parade of black suits accompanied by ugly neckties? I thought men’s black, pinstriped, double-breasted suits went out with the mobsters in the ‘30s.
The color black, which many people consider “smart,” is in fact dour, ordinary, boring and dated. Black reflects the triumph of conformity and the death of individuality. It is one more example of the dumbing down of a society that once celebrated its diversity and independence.
How depressing to see today’s male fashion world controlled by a handful of robots and idiots. It would be refreshing and healthy to see American men revolt against the style master’s edict that a monotonous, drab, unflattering uniform will be the only apparel available to the peasants. A good jolt in the pocketbook would be effective shock therapy for such arrogance. I recommend it. - R.C. in Louisa, Va.
Dear R.C.: You have written a letter that will be cheered by individualists and freethinkers and scorned by traditionalists. The retailing industry, however, would love to offer a wider variety of clothing and should send you a dozen roses.
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