Chores Help Build Child’s Value System
By and large, today’s children don’t have enough chores. Many aren’t expected to do much more than make their beds and keep their rooms reasonably neat. Some aren’t expected to do anything.
The explanations parents come up with to justify having lazy children are many and absurd. They range from “I’d rather do it myself than go through the hassle,” to “She has enough to do already, what with piano and swim team and choir and dance.”
The more parents do for children, the less they do for themselves and the more irresponsible and dependent they become. A child without chores is probably going to become an adult without initiative, organization or the drive to accomplish. Indeed, chores acquaint a child with the fact that he can’t get something for nothing.
But teaching responsibility is only half of the picture. The other half is: chores are just about the only means a child has of making a tangible contribution to the family. This opportunity to contribute imparts value to a child. It enhances feelings of worth and adds immensely to the child’s self-esteem.
Most importantly, however, is that contribution through chores bonds the child to the value system of the family and renders less likely the chance that he will stray from those basic values as an adolescent or young adult.
The family and its values take on importance not simply because of parental modeling and enforcement, but because the child has the opportunity to perform a valuable function within the family.
The Japanese system of management is based on this same simple principle and results in the lowest turnover rate among employees in the Free World.
A Japanese worker is made to feel not just that the company cares about him, but that he contributes invaluably to the company. He remains loyal for this reason, not because he receives a paycheck. He could just as easily receive a paycheck from Mitsubishi as Toyota, but no one has ever made him feel quite so good about himself as Toyota does.
This also explains why values seem so stable from one generation to the next in rural America. As soon as they are capable, farm children are expected to perform chores. If they’re too young to do anything but carry the milk pail, they carry the milk pail. If they’re old enough to drive the tractor, they drive the tractor.
So, how much should children be expected to do around the house? The answer: As much as they are capable of doing and still have sufficient time for play, church and homework. By the time children reach school age, they can, and therefore should, be doing some of the housework. By the time they’re in their early teens, they should be doing nearly all of it.
That’s easier than it may sound. If you divide the household chores among the children according to ability and set them up on a weekly schedule according to need, then it should take two children no more than 45 minutes a day to accomplish what’s expected of them.
If your children don’t have 45 minutes a day to spare for chores, then they’re probably involved in too many activities.
And, parents should not pay children for routine chores. To begin with, payments tends to create the illusion that if the child doesn’t want the money, he isn’t obligated to perform the chore. More important, however, payment undermines the value of the contribution.
A chore that’s paid for is no longer a contribution for the sake of contribution, but a contribution for the sake of money.
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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = John Rosemond The Charlotte Observer