So Will He Be Saying, ‘I Do?’ I Don’t Think So

Unlike his sitcom self, Jerry Seinfeld can keep a girlfriend in real life - but don’t go listening for wedding bells.

“You know when I’ll get married? I’ll get married when somebody like John Kennedy Jr. gets married,” Seinfeld deadpanned during “60 Minutes” on Sunday. Informed that Kennedy had tied the knot, he replied, “Really?”

Seinfeld, 42, said his relationship with 21-yearold Shoshanna Lonstein works because “I’m so immature, and she’s so mature that we meet in the middle.”

But he cut off further questions when asked about his sexual maturity.

“I am not going to talk about being sexually immature on ‘60 Minutes,”’ he said. “It’s not ‘60 Swinging Minutes,’ you know.”

Loose talk

Bill Maher (“Politically Incorrect”), on bachelorhood (in TV Guide): “I’m not unhappy being single right now. It does not bother me. I must say all the married people want me to get married. But married people make a pretty bad advertisement for their own product.”

She’s not as much of a prize as she used to be

Roxanne Pulitzer turns 45 today.

So, you could say he’s the more neutral party

More dirt dished up by Mia Farrow to Barbara Walters about Woody Allen in that “20/20” interview Friday night: “He had polyester sheets, and I wanted to get cotton sheets … He discussed it with his shrink many times before he made the switch. And he’s been in therapy since he was, like, 19, so we’re talking about 40 years of therapy.” Farrow also said Allen hates the color pink, and gets “quite angry” with people who won’t wear his preferred shades of gray, brown, and off-white.

Sounds like another case of wife imitating art

Fox sitcom star Martin Lawrence, recently slapped with a sexual harassment suit by former television wife Tisha Campbell, has also been dumped by his real-life beauty-queen bride, Pat. At least, that’s what his sister, Rae, tells Sister 2 Sister magazine.

Guess she still can’t trust him to toe the line

Reports of former Clinton political consultant Dick Morris’ reconciliation with estranged wife Eileen McGann have been greatly exaggerated. Morris, caught in a foot-fetish affair with a call girl, told The Washington Post that a New York Post story saying she was taking him back is “totally unfounded, although I wish it were true.”

Come on, they’re just little Tolkeins of affection

Clint Eastwood tells Playboy that he broke up with his former live-in girlfriend, Sondra Locke, because he grew tired of her ongoing relationship with her ex-husband (who happens to be gay). “I didn’t want to be with someone who had some strange thing going on,” Eastwood said. “They were pals when they were kids, and they both believe in fairy tales and call each other Hobbit and stuff like that.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino