Cheap Seats

Whaddayaknow? Actual juris prudence

A man who built his house next to a golf course in Newport, Ky., cannot collect money from a player whose errant shot broke the homeowner’s window.

Expect an appeal. County district judge Mickey Foellger is a golfer.

And he showed no sympathy for Barry Jolly’s request to be paid $867 by the man who hit the shot.

“A golfer has no duty to hit the ball straight,” Foellger ruled, adding that Jolly put himself in a position of known risk of having his house hit.

Don Spraker sent a ball smashing through the window during a round in July.

“I’m really sorry that I did it,” Spraker said. “I obviously didn’t want to hit the ball into his house.”

There is no negligence on the part of a golfer who hooks or slices a golf ball out of bounds and onto private property if the golfer did not do it intentionally, was not intoxicated and exercised reasonable club selection, the judge ruled.

Foellger admitted he plays occasionally - “and I don’t hit it very straight, either,” he said.

Great alibis of our time

It could have been simply bad judgment, but no. Mets general manager Joe McIlvaine blames big-city crime and the media for two of the worst trades in club history.

The Mets, remember, were ecstatic when they completed a 1989 trade that brought Phillies second baseman Juan Samuel to New York for center fielder Lenny Dykstra and two other players. But Samuel’s home was burglarized during his first week in New York, and his car was broken into a week later. The incidents, McIlvaine said, made his family fear living in New York - and Samuel’s stats suffered mightily.

“He turned out to be a bomb,” McIlvaine said.

And while Dykstra’s recent injury problems have allowed the Mets to save some face, there’s no way to put a positive spin on trading Nolan Ryan in 1972.

McIlvaine said then-general manager Bob Scheffing was probably influenced by Ryan’s reaction to the New York media.

“He just didn’t feel like he was going to be able to survive in New York,” McIlvaine said.

He certainly made it everywhere else, retiring in 1992 after 26 major league seasons and 319 wins, 5,668 strikeouts and seven no-hitters.

“You look like a fool after making a trade like that,” McIlvaine said.

Good to know

From a University of Maryland press release: “Maryland is 15-0, undefeated, when it outscores its opponent.”

A new definition for ‘bum Steer’

Time to rethink the schedule. Texas College was so unprepared to play East Texas Baptist that the Lady Steers were assessed a technical foul for not having their players listed in the official scorebook.

Then things got worse: the game started. When it ended, ETB had won 154-35.

Texas College coach John Thomas referred questions to the school’s public relations office.

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” he said.

The last word …

“How admirable is that? I mean, a man quits his job to do charity work.”

- Jay Leno, on Bill Parcells defecting to the Jets

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo