The Slice But Did Anyone Part The Waters?
Debbie Hays knows what a beach party movie filmed at a local lake could be called: “We Broke Five Commandments at Moses Lake.”
Something you seldom hear in business meetings these days: “All right, I can see we’re at a standstill. Let’s settle it with arm-wrestling.”
Family fests: Priest River’s Shannon Foote said Footefest would have something to do with feet.
And a member of a family whose last name is Jackson said Jacksonfest might include a wedgie war.
At this very moment, there are Eastern Washington residents just waiting for someone to burst through the front door and shout: “Get your rifle! Some Californians are trying to divert the Columbia to Los Angeles!”
The one thing Julie Trubetskoff buys in bulk: “Margarita mix.”
Half a dozen ways to be a ‘90s bore:
1. Drone on and on about your frequent-flyer miles.
2. Burden strangers with a detailed report about the unremarkable results of your blood test.
3. Two words: home page.
4. Be tolerant of everything except people with different opinions.
5. Tons of attitude, no ideas.
6. Be paranoid about the feds.
We’ve never understood the appeal of: Decorative fingernails so long that they all but prevent the person from functioning in society.
Well, that’s what they called her: Spokane’s Carolyn Payne helped out at a recent week of Bible school at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, which her three young grandchildren attended.
That family relationship prompted another little kid to report to his father that one of the Bible school teachers was named “Grandma.”
Magic Lantern adventure No. 114: We showed up for a screening of “Brassed Off.” The young man behind the counter said there was a problem and the movie wouldn’t be showing. No “I’m sorry,” no nothin’.
Warm-up questions: How many people who regard themselves as bird watchers also hunt game birds? Ever notice how many men around here look a lot like Beach Boys songwriter/mental patient Brian Wilson? How would personal ads read if people told the truth about themselves? Will a book come out someday called “Mommy Wore Black Lipstick”?
Today’s Slice question: What would Lewis and Clark like best about the modern Northwest?
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing
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