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Sunday, April 5, 2020  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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News >  Features

The Slice Outa My Way? This Stuff Is Getting Warm

A friend spotted a new twist on running a red light.

The driver of a beer truck barreling down Washington apparently realized he wasn’t going to come to a stop while the light at Third was still yellow. So he grabbed his horn. Then he sailed through the intersection.

Hey, at least he didn’t keep his intentions a secret.

The difference between people who have a basement and those who don’t: “People who have a basement never have a garage sale.” - Michelle Batten

There are good reasons for washing fruit: We heard about a guy who got out of an expensive car and proceeded to check out a recent Spokane yard sale. At some point, he reportedly helped himself to berries from the homeowner’s strawberry patch, eating what he picked.

The woman hosting the sale tried to get his attention. But the man either didn’t notice or ignored her. A moment later, he wandered off.

The woman had been trying to alert him that the berries he was snarfing came from a spot where her dog likes to, uh, water the crop.

Slice answers: What one essentially mainstream lifestyle choice is regarded as slightly radical by the most people around here? Gail Conine thinks she knows the answer. “Being over the age of 40 and single.”

Donna McDonell offered another nomination. “To opt for less money and less stress in order to be happier.”

State’s rights: At a reading in Bellevue not long ago, some Seattle-area types playfully claimed author Ursula Hegi as one of their own. That’s even though she lives just outside Spokane and has long taught at Eastern Washington University.

OK, fair enough. She does live in the same state, after all. But two can play at that game.

How do you like the sound of “Spokane’s own J.P. Patches”?

Warm-up questions: If you opened a bar in your neighborhood, what would you call it? Do you hum “Perfidia” after watching “Casablanca”? Doesn’t car dealership spokeswoman Laura Ashley look like Kathie Lee Gifford?

What Lewis and Clark would like best about the modern Northwest: The return of the Nez Perce to the Wallowa Valley and drive-through espresso stands. - Dana Kean

Today’s Slice question: If you’ve got a powerful hankering to see acres of exposed flesh and lots of tattoos, what local event is your best bet?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. People from Valley, Wash., probably tire of saying “No, not THE Valley….”

The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. People from Valley, Wash., probably tire of saying “No, not THE Valley….”

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