Encourage Teens To Focus On Grades
Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I are having a dispute over allowing our two teenage daughters to visit a boy who is in prison for killing a man. “Robbie” is the son of a couple we’ve known for 20 years, though we are not close friends. The tragedy happened two years ago, when he was 17 and had been drinking. He thought his life and that of a friend were in danger when he killed the man. Robbie was tried as an adult and sentenced to 33 years. The case is being appealed.
My husband and I have two daughters, ages 15 and 17, and they both write to Robbie. Our 15-year-old writes most often, and she and Robbie have become good friends. I thought it was time they met, so I took my daughters to visit him in prison, and they had a very good time. When my husband found out, however, he was so upset with me, he left home for a week. He has since returned and now says the only way our 15-year-old can visit Robbie is if she improves her grades from D’s to A’s and B’s. Each quarter, she would be allowed one visit, but a C grade would cancel it.
Meanwhile, both daughters and Robbie have birthdays coming up, and I want to take the girls to visit him as their birthday present. Prisoners are monitored, and the girls would not be in any danger. My husband says he will agree if you OK it. Please let us know what you think. - Unsure West Coasters
Dear W. Coasters: Teenage girls should not be encouraged to take an active interest in a young man who is serving time for killing someone. Your 15-year-old’s grades certainly need to be improved, but visits to the prison ought not be used as an incentive. I hope you and your husband will stand united on this and stop the visits.
Dear Ann Landers: You recently printed a column about that Teenage Sex Test, and a lot of readers were upset about the scoring. One said you could have sex with a stranger and still be rated “Normal and Decent” as long as you didn’t smoke, drink or take off all your clothes.
You replied it’s unlikely people would have sex without also taking off clothing, kissing in a reclining position and so on, and that would make the score more realistic.
Ann, you underestimate the imagination and gymnastic abilities of those interested in sex. I know of a couple who, on a Minnesota crosscountry ski trip, had sex while on skis. That accomplishment ignited my imagination, but I doubt they took their clothes off. - Martha in Poughkeepsie, N.Y.
Dear Martha: So do I. It would be too darned cold. Thanks for the reality check.
Dear Ann Landers: I hope I’m not too late to get in on the brouhaha about expensive weddings. No one mentioned what it costs to be a bridesmaid. Yes, it’s an honor to be asked, but it also can be pretty costly. For example:
I was “honored” last year by three of my girlfriends. Two live out of town, so that meant airfare and hotel. Then, there was the price of the dresses (approximately $110 each), which I will never wear again. Add $70 for shoes, one pair dyed turquoise, one yellow and one peach, which go with nothing else in my wardrobe.
I can’t afford to be honored again for quite a while. - No Name, City or State
Dear N.N.C. or S.: You spoke for a good number of women today. And now, do any of you bridesmaids have some suggestions on what to do with those peach, turquoise and yellow gowns that are hanging in your closets - along with the matching satin shoes?