The Slice Neighbors: Normal Or Nutty?

There’s a reason some people are reluctant to get to know their neighbors.

It’s the belief that a high percentage of adults are really quite strange.

By becoming acquainted with the folks next-door, you heighten the risk that you will become exposed to their special brand of weirdness. Oh, they might not reveal it at first. But if you give people enough chances, sooner or later they will demonstrate that they are deeply disturbed. At least, that’s how this theory goes.

It’s not always simple suspicion. Some people acquire this standoffish outlook through experience.

If your hair stylist turns out to be a kook, you can go to another one. Same with your pharmacist or the clerk at the cleaners. But if your next-door neighbor proves to be a David Lynch character, that’s different. A neighbor can be tough to avoid.

It is not a happy thing when the sound of the doorbell or the mere thought of going out in the yard fills you with low-level dread.

Now it’s all the rage to talk about having a sense of community and a commitment to one’s neighborhood. But an underlying premise there is that the people who live near you are reasonably sane. That’s not always true.

Of course, life would be pretty dull without quirky individuals. And who’s to say what’s normal behavior anyway?

Besides, for most neighbor-avoiders, there’s probably no call to feel all smug and superior. Chances are, a fair number of the people they’re avoiding are quite happy to return the favor.

Inland Northwest women want: “A man who knows how to use four-wheel drive.” - Carole Zitterkopf

Clever marketing or poor judgment - you make the call: After asking about the likelihood that someone holding an open house would have a neighbor conducting a junky yard sale on the same day, we heard from a reader who reported that not everybody leaves it up to the neighbors. She observed some people who were trying to sell their home holding an open house and a yard sale on the same day.

“I’ll give you 50 cents for this chipped Yellowstone Park plate and $110,000 for the rancher.”

Seeing spots: We heard about a 3-year-old girl who was going to get to ride a pony. She took a shine to one in particular. “I want to ride the “Dalmatian,” she said.

Today’s Slice question: What were you surprised to discover in your sleeping bag?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. A friend in Tekoa told us about a little boy at a funeral who explained that incense was “the holy smoke.”