The Slice You Never Know What Will Turn Up In Sleeping Bag

Brooke Davis was surprised to find her mom’s underwear in her sleeping bag.

We spoke with Brooke’s mom about this and she had no comment.

Kim Puryear once shared a sleeping bag with her family’s pregnant poodle. She awoke to find herself sharing the sleeping bag with a litter of brand-new puppies.

A similar thing happened to Joy Roberts’ daughter, only it was kittens.

“Thank you, Spokane!”: We’ve all heard that phrase used in feel-good pat-on-the-back situations.

But we have some friends who enjoy saying those words sarcastically when encountering some flagrant example of brainless behavior.

Fan mail from a flounder: An illegibly signed note arrived congratulating us on the thousandth edition of The Slice.

“Throughout the years I have been repeatedly annoyed and disgusted by a large portion of the asinine supposed newsworthy items you print alongside the privacy-invading eavesdropping done by yourself and those you’ve converted to your tasteless habit. All of which adds to my revulsion due to your often pretentious, holier than thou attitude. So I’m calling for your immediate retirement.”

Wow. It’s satisfying to have readers so capable of getting in touch with their feelings. Thanks for writing.

Where to begin: So this guy from New York calls the clerk’s office at U.S. District Court in Spokane and asks when the salmon run.

Warm-up question: When packing up for a move to a new home, has anyone ever tried putting most of his or her possessions in dozens of those paper grocery sacks with handles?

Today’s Slice question: What would be the ideal name/theme for a Spokane-inspired toy action figure?

a.) Johnny Skinhead. “He’s ignorant and he’s angry.”

b.) Babs Bargain-Hunter and her sidekicks, Discount Debbie and Mavis Markdown - the two-for-one twins. “They saw it first, and now there’s going to be trouble.”

c.) Joe Normal. “He’s just trying to get through the week.”

d.) Swiss Family Truckhead. “Just waiting for some girly man from a nearby campsite to complain about the loud engine-tuning.”

e.) Rocky the Rural Road Sign. “Finally, he’s decided to defend himself and now that kid with the .22 rifle has a surprise coming.”

f.) other.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color Photo

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. If you can remember seeing B-36s in the air over Spokane, you have our permission to declare yourself an expert on how this city has changed.