From Bat To Worse The Batman Series Of Movies Gets Even Duller With ‘Mr. Freeze’ Schwarzenegger As The Villain
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s inability to act has damaged some of his movies, but “Batman and Robin” may be the first one it has wrecked completely.
The heroes have been worked into such a dull little corner that these Batman movies stand or fall on the strength of their villains. Poor George Clooney, or whoever it is that’s playing Batman this time around, can hardly hope to have an impact.
In “Batman and Robin,” the title characters are reduced to a series of butt and crotch shots in the opening credits, and with those masks on almost all the time, their rubber nipples are more expressive than their faces (fun fact: when you can’t see Clooney’s face, you realize that he and Sylvester Stallone have the same voice).
“Batman and Robin’s” plot is the usual deal about bad guys trying to take over Gotham, interspersed with dull chatter. What could be more tedious than Batman having a talk about commitment with his girlfriend?
I’ll tell you what: Batman having a trying power struggle with whiny Robin (Chris O’Donnell), or Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone) moaning about how Uncle Alfred has had to subjugate his dreams while working as a servant, or Batgirl in an utterly pointless motorcycle chase.
The few bright spots in this sodden, glum mess are provided by Uma Thurman as the dastardly Poison Ivy. The character is a complete rehash of Catwoman, but Thurman is sexy as the villainess and she does a presentable Judy Davis parody as Ivy’s meek alter-ego.
Which brings us to Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze. To work, a “Batman” villain has to have style and a sense of irony, but Schwarzenegger has neither. He garbles half of the words in his dialogue and he gets the emphasis wrong on the rest. Not that his material is worth doing well - it’s simply a series of predictable quips like “Let’s kick some ice” and “The iceman cometh!”
Arnold’s outfit is pretty neat but, as Mr. Freeze would undoubtedly say, that’s cold comfort.
MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: “Batman and Robin” Location: East Sprague, Newport, Post Falls, Showboat Credits: Directed by Joel Schumacher, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Uma Thurman Running time: 2:04 Rating: PG-13