The Slice Never Put Ketchup On A Hot Dog

If you weren’t at Hoopfest, you missed Spokane’s terrific impression of a big city.

But The Slice did about 90 tons of people-watching Saturday. And here’s some of what we saw.

Out of the way or you’ll get vaporized: In places, the sidewalks were so crowded, it was hard to move. But 3-year-old DiMaggio Brown had a system for clearing a path. He leaned forward in the stroller pushed by his grandmother, Sonia Brown, and fired at will with a lime green toy ray-gun that emitted an other-worldly woo-woo-woo sound.

Our favorite lost-child announcement included: “She has blue hair. …”

There’s no teacher like experience: Most people just yanked open the doors. But maybe a fourth of those using portable toilets Saturday tentatively peeked inside first to make sure they weren’t intruding on someone’s unlocked private moment.

Overheard on Sprague (a mom with family members playing on different courts at the same time): “I can’t be in two places at once, but nobody in my house has ever understood that concept.”

Vernon Martin’s estimate of the number of people who stopped to admire Cleatus, the black 3-month-old Rottweiler/Labrador puppy sitting in his lap near the corner of Post and Main: “Half of Spokane.”

Coaching: “What the hell’s wrong with you?” said a man wearing “Official” credentials to a boy named Eric who had on a Phoenix Suns cap.

Eric had just gotten a hot dog from the Weenie Wagon at Riverside and Post. And the man, presumably his father, didn’t care for the way the lad had applied condiments. “Wipe that off,” he said. “That’s way too much ketchup. What were you thinking?”

In our opinion: Most between-the-legs dribbles are pure showboating.

Hoopfest is most like which movie: a.) “Hoosiers.” b.) “The Wanderers.” c.) “Woodstock.”

One word to sum up the crowd: “Insane.” - waitress Amy Stong

Most ridiculous gesture: A guy in front of the STA Plaza was talking on a cell phone when he made a “quiet down” hand motion toward a crowd cheering the end of a girls’ game.

Warm-up questions: If you gathered all the people around here who don’t take part in Hoopfest, what would be that group’s distinguishing feature? Does the music from the loudspeakers add to or detract from the experience?

Today’s Slice question: Didja win?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday on IN Life and elsewhere once in a blue moon. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. If, after yesterday, you still don’t believe that there are some great-looking people around here, you need serious help.