She Had Everything, And Now Has One Thing More

Here’s our advice for the week: Always be careful what you ask for because you just may get it.

When actress Patti D’Arbanville, whose best gig has been as Lt. Virginia Cooper on Fox Television’s “New York Undercover,” married husband No. 3, Terry Quinn, she was happiness personified.

“I finally have everything I wanted,” she said in 1994.

Which was saying something, because she’d led a fairly glamorous life, having once been married to Don Johnson.

But the good times are over and she’s filed for divorce. First they must reconcile custody of three children and then they have to figure out what to do about their matching tattoos.

Loose talk

Chris Rock on the price of movie-going (in Esquire magazine): “Jim Carrey makes $20 million a movie. I make a weird face when they tell me I have to pay $8.50 to see one.”

No doubt he’ll do his wild thing tonight

Tone-Loc turns 31 today.

And we think it’s pretty stupid, too

Referring to a call for a boycott of his film by Argentina’s Vice President Carlos Ruckauf, “Evita” director Alan Parker told an Argentine journalist, “Pienso que es muy tonto, muy cinico.”

A pol opposed to prior censorship? What a concept

Unlike Vice President Carlos Ruckauf (see item above), Argentina President Carlos Menem is actually going to see “Evita” before passing judgment. As for Ruckauf’s call for a boycott, Menem said, “First I want to see the movie, and then I will give my opinion.”

He should have found it easy to drop and give them 10

So why did Riddick Bowe quite the Marine Corps? Good question. “Every waking hour as a recruit, you are told what to do,” he explained. “How fast, when and where, even when it comes to personal things. There were day and night body inspections as we stood naked near our bunks. Drill instructors always yelling commands every step of the way.”

And to think: All Bubbles got was some day-old bananas

Penthouse magazine identified the boy who received that $20 million settlement from Michael Jackson. The kid, whose picture ran in The Globe, is 17 and good with figures. He’s invested some $3.8 million in stocks and bonds. Not only that, but he shops Banana Republic, drives a Nissan Pathfinder and plays street hockey in Armani pants.

Never mind the lawsuit, what about the diet plan?

That lawsuit brought against the National Enquirer and the Star by Brooke Shields and Andre Agassi recalls some fairly inventive stories, including those headlined “Therapy Ends Nightmare of Pill Popping, Binge Eating & Tears” and a “Brooke Diner Diet” plan that promised to melt 30 pounds in four weeks.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Websteer