What Counts Is That It Comforts

Dear Nancy: My grandmother lived with us the last four years of her life. Three years ago, when she was 93, she died peacefully in her bed. She had a strong belief in God and yet I worried about her: Would she know where to go when she died? I had this dream last month and when I awoke, I felt peaceful and a sense of closure. Agnes

I am in a basement. In the middle of the room is a Rototiller with a dead body slung over it. Grandma is sitting near it on a day bed. She is glowing and her eyes are sparkling. I am surprised and happy to see her.

I sit beside her and ask what heaven is like. She exclaims, “Oh, it is so beautiful! I sit on Jesus’ lap every day and receive Holy Communion.” Then she gets up, walks over to the dead body, lifts the head by the hair and says, “Who’s this?” I tell her it was her body when she was alive. She lets the head drop and says a simple, “Oh.”

She sits beside me again, looks at her watch and says it’s time to go. She gets up and runs out into the snow with the energy and enthusiasm of a child, and disappears.

Dear Agnes: I can understand why you were comforted by this dream. Whether this was a “visitation” dream or one that simply came from your subconscious mind doesn’t matter. The dream served its purpose by bringing you peace and a sense of closure.

Thanks for sharing it.

Tips for readers: Have you ever realized you were dreaming a dream? “Lucid dreaming” can be an incredibly powerful and rewarding experience.

When you know you are dreaming, you have the ability to create whatever experience you want in the dream. Choosing to fly, visit a loved one, explore your sensuality or even to have a conversation with God can be part of the lucid dream experience.

Differing cultures around the world have considered lucid dreaming as one of the highest forms of spiritual disciplines. Tibetan Buddhists, Hindus, Australian aborigines and others have valued and cultivated lucid dreaming. Carlos Castaneda wrote of it, describing his experiences with his teacher, Don Juan.

A few tips to cultivate lucid dreaming:

Set your goal. A strong desire to dream lucidly is important. Write down your intention in your dream journal.

Choose your dream experience. If your goal is to fly, then affirm to yourself during the day and again before you fall to sleep, “Tonight, in my dreams, I fly!”

Notice incongruous dream elements beyond the bounds of possibility, “triggers” to lucid dreaming. For instance, a chipmunk with wings or an egg frying on an iceberg can lead you to the realization you are dreaming.

Read about lucid dreaming: “The Sun and the Shadow” by Kenneth Kelzer, “Creative Dreaming” by Patricia Garfield, and “Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming” by Stephen LaBerge.

Most of all, have fun with it! Consider it one of life’s greatest adventures you can have every night of your life!

This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.

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