Amid Chaos, There Is Strength
Dear Nancy: My husband, possessive and jealous, is trying to have sexual encounters with my niece, her girlfriend and a 77-year-old neighbor. Our marriage has been filled with strife and bitterness. Sometimes I feel so hopeless, I wish I could die or that he would. He threatens to take our 5-year-old daughter if I leave him, and I’ll never see her again. Phyllis
It’s my wedding day. I am dressed in a white suit. When I look at my groom, I’m shocked to see half of him, his right side, is Bud, my first husband who died years ago. The left side is Tom, my present husband. We are on a volcanic island, our new home. The driver of a truck carrying all my possessions asks if we want a ride, but Bud/ Tom and refuses the offer.
We arrive at a party where I visit with my sister-in-law. A beautiful child with the biggest eyes I have ever seen arrives. Nobody knows who she is. I notice she’s been crying and I take her in my arms to comfort her; she hugs me tightly and smiles. I take her hand and walk across the room to speak with my brother. Bud/Tom is jealous and grabs my arm, making the little girl fall, and drags me out of the house.
I see a chicken pen with a rooster chasing two ducks. A little girl by the pen tells me the rooster is mine.
Bud/Tom take me into a house where two women go on and on about how wonderful he is. I walk out, angry. I see my rooster has killed the two ducks and has their necks in his beak. I feel great! The ground trembles. I fall, get up, brush myself off and walk on. I feel really good.
Dear Phyllis: Your wedding day dream, in which the groom is a combination of your two husbands, suggests it’s about the state of your marriage and perhaps a pattern of choosing the same type of man. On the telephone, you said both men were unfaithful. Are there other similarities?
Moving to the volcanic island may be a sign you feel the marriage is on unstable ground. Do you feel your emotions may erupt and explode? Do you feel you’re living with a volcano, never knowing when it will go off?
Children in dreams often represent our inner child, the innocent and vulnerable part of us. In the dream you comfort this child, but she still gets hurt by Bud/Tom. Determine how you can best protect this part of yourself and your 5-year-old daughter.
The two women who adore your husband and try to convince you he is wonderful may also be a part of yourself - the part which wants to believe the marriage can work. Your bigger part knows better and will not be fooled. You walk away.
The rooster may symbolize your masculine nature. We all have feminine and masculine parts. In a healthy personality, these sides are balanced. The masculine side is assertive, willing to fight and practical.
The two dead ducks may symbolize your husbands. Some dreams are wish fulfillment and show our hidden desires and thoughts. Their death may symbolize the death of your relationship. In the dream, you are happy about the deaths and walk away.
Phyllis, you find your own strength and courage in this dream, which signifies you can find your strength and courage in your waking life. Seek out people who can help you: a good friend, therapist and perhaps an attorney. Good luck.
This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.
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