Cheap Seats
Carrtoon
No-nonsense Brewers manager Phil Garner finally tired of Chuck Carr’s act - releasing him after the speedy center fielder refused a demotion to Class AAA Tucson, despite a .130 average and no RBIs.
The last straw? In the eighth inning of a loss to Anaheim against a tiring Chuck Finley, Carr ignored a “take” sign from third-base coach Chris Bando and popped up a 2-0 pitch.
“That ain’t Chuckie’s game,” Carr told the manager after the game. “Chuckie hacks on 2-0.”
Marveled Garner, “I swear to God, that’s what he said. The guy is always talking about himself in the third person, which often gets you one of those white jackets that ties in the back.”
Garner should have replied, “Chuckie packs on 2-0.”
Jacked around
It’s one thing for the Green Bay Packers not to invite Desmond Howard along on their trip to the White House - seeing as the Super Bowl MVP left as a free agent to sign with Raiders.
But to cut kicker Chris Jacke and then stiff him on the trip, well, it sort of shoots a hole in the Packer-family image.
“That’s the big thing over there - team this, team that, we’re going to win as a team or lose as a team,” Jacke said.
“We all deserve to enjoy everything that comes with winning the Super Bowl. That includes the trip to the White House. That includes receiving your Super Bowl ring with teammates. For whatever reason, they’re excluding me from that. I’d like to hear from someone other than a secretary, whether it’s Mike (Holmgren), Ron (Wolf), or even Bob (Harlan),” referring to the team’s coach, general manager and club president.
Jacke said he saw several teammates during the weekend at a golf tournament in Phoenix and said they “back me 100 percent.” In an on-line survey conducted by the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, so did most of the fans. They called Packers management, among other things, petty and snobs.
Drenching the moment in irony was this comment at the ceremony from President Clinton: “In a world where people move from team to team, then teams move from town to town, the Green Bay Packers are something special, unique, old-fashioned and heart-warming. It really means something to the rest of the country to see the relationship between Green Bay and the Packers.”
Yep. It means watch your back, Jacke.
Sorry, it’s headed for the Hall of Fame
The only run of a 1-0 Cleveland Indians win last week - only the second such game in the history of Jacobs Field - was scored on a steal of home by slow-footed Jim Thome, a man with no steals all year and 14 previous steals in the ‘90s.
OK, it was the back end of a double steal. But Thome still recognized the historic nature of the occasion.
“When I hit home,” he said, “I asked for home plate.”
Fluff, the magic draggin’
You probably don’t need to know this, but Sports Illustrated recently pointed out that Mike “Fluff” Cowan, Tiger Woods’ Deadhead caddy, has earned enough money to rank him 84th on the PGA Tour’s yearly money list - just ahead of Bernhard Langer.
Contact Fuzzy Zoeller for the punchline.
Straight up
Cubs pitcher Terry Mulholland, who toiled last year for the Mariners, is one of the few major league pitchers who doesn’t ice his arm after a game.
“The only thing ice is good for,” said Mulholland, “is scotch.”
The last word …
“The game needs his biting commentary.”
- Orange County Register columnist Mark Whicker, on Marv Albert
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo