Cheap Seats

Was Wild Wing driving?

Air Hugo, the Charlotte Hornets’ economy-sized in-arena blimp, performed an unscheduled tribute to the Hindenburg during the team’s home opener.

Accidentally bumping into a ceiling support structure inside the Charlotte Coliseum, Hugo began leaking helium, sputtered around for a few minutes and finally crash-landed in the seats, only a few rows in front of Hornets owner George Shinn.

Those spoiled owners will do anything for attention.

That’s a firing offense

Davey Johnson’s departure from the Baltimore Orioles probably ranks no better than second on baseball’s list of most bizarre dismissals, according to Shirley Povich of the Washington Post.

Citing the 1892 ouster of Bill Barney as manager of the Washington Senators, Povich writes that Barney was fired by club co-owners Earl Wagner and his brother, George, who “were scalawags from Philadelphia. They quickly enraged Washington fans by charging them 25 cents for parking their bicycles outside the ballpark. And when Earl Wagner was asked why he fired manager Barney, he fumbled and said, ‘Insubordination.’

“Wagner was pressed on this matter and was asked, ‘Exactly what was the form of Bill Barney’s insubordination?’

“‘Well,’ said Wagner, ‘we asked him to resign and he refused. That’s insubordination.”’

Faux boys from Brazil

The Spanish soccer clubs Albacete, Logrones and Salamanca each agreed to shell out $7,000 recently to participate in a series of exhibition games against the famed Brazilian club team Botafogo.

Or so they thought. In actuality, the three Spanish teams were scammed by a group of con artists claiming to be Botafogo, as they began to suspect when “Botafogo” lost the matches by scores of 2-0, 6-0 and 2-0. Their worst suspicions were confirmed when the real Botafogo club, which never left Brazil, heard the news of these shocking defeats in a land far, far away.

How good can this Botafogo team be if it can only draw $7,000 a game?

Show us the cheap seats

The hiring of Larry Bird as coach has yet to translate into bustling ticket sales for the Indiana Pacers, but ticket director Mike Henn claims he isn’t surprised.

“More and more,” Henn said, “with ticket prices the way they are, I can’t count on Dad saying at 5 o’clock, ‘Hey, I have a hundred bucks burning a hole in my pocket, let’s go to a Pacers game.”’

Especially if the idea is to watch a former great player try to coach.

When Riley talks, people diss him

Detroit Pistons center Brian Williams, warning against writing off the slow-starting Chicago Bulls: “Scottie will be back, Dennis will play. I can’t remember how many times Chicago has been counted down. Pat Riley did say as long as Michael’s playing you can never count them out. I don’t agree with much of what Pat says. But I probably agree with that.”

Bearing down

Former Chicago Bear defensive lineman Ed O’Bradovich, on the suspension of Bears defensive end Alonzo Spellman:

“He calls himself ‘The Sheriff.’ He should arrest himself for loitering.”

The last word …

“If Angelos owned the Rolling Stones, he’d fire Mick Jagger.”

- Ken Rosenthal of the Baltimore Sun, getting in his two cents’ worth on the Angelos-Johnson affair.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo