British Slang Leaves Some Viewers Clueless

America and Britain truly are two cultures “separated by a common language,” as Winston Churchill once observed, but Jerry Seinfeld’s explorations of British slanguage are a bit of a barney.

In fact, the British slang has some U.S viewers tearing out their Barnett Fair.

Here’s a cheat sheet for the American Express commercials that open with Seinfeld before a London audience, bombing with the punchline: “So I got off the elevator, cut in line, and said, ‘What is this, the seventh-inning stretch?”’ Silence. “Uh-oh,” mutters Seinfeld. “Bit of a culture clash.”

He should have said he got out of the “lift” and onto the “queue.”

Brits would never cut in - but never mind.

Here are some more scenes in England:

Seinfeld asks a London cabbie to show him the whole country. “I’m a little light on the lingo,” he explains.

“You’ll get a full gander down the frog with me,” the cockney driver assures him.

Translation: You’ll get a good look down the road. Frog is cockney-rhyming slang, short for frog and toad, meaning road.

A bewildered Seinfeld eyes the day’s specials on the chalkboard in a roadside cafe. The waitress says: “We got Cornish pasties, mushy peas, bangers and mash, bubble and squeak and a lovely toad in the hole.”

Translation: Cornish pasties means meat pie, something like a calzone; mushy peas means peas cooked to the consistency of sludge; bangers and mash means sausages and mashed potatoes; bubble and squeak means a cabbage-and-potato dish that pops and squeaks while cooking; toad in the hole means a banger wrapped in pastry.

Seinfeld, in the Yorkshire countryside, listens to a shepherd in the midst of his flock: “Don’t mither the sheep; they’ll get narky.”

Translation: Don’t bother the sheep; they’ll become irritated.

On the cricket pitch, Seinfeld takes a Reggie Jackson-style cut at the ball. He misses. Seinfeld is out. “That was a wicked googly!” he exclaims.

Translation: Cricket’s version of the screwball.

Don’t miss the brief shot of Seinfeld, a cricketer, the shepherd and a passer-by crossing a street at a “zebra crossing.” It’s a reference to the cover of the Beatles’ “Abbey Road” album: Seinfeld, barefoot in a black suit, occupies the Paul position. I am the Walrus.

Cut to Seinfeld back onstage, dressed for shootin’ a bit of grouse in an English tweed jacket and knickers. Says Seinfeld: “So I took a butchers up the apples and pears and said, ‘What is this? The tea interval?”’ The crowd roars.

Translation: More rhyming slang. Butchers, short for butcher’s hook, means look. Apples and pears means stairs. Tea interval means coffee break.

At the British-American Chamber of Commerce, Managing Director (the boss) Richard Fursland said he hoped American Express would air the commercial in England.

“The U.S. and the U.K. share so much that those bits we don’t have in common, we tend to appreciate and enjoy,” he said.

By the way, the reference in this story’s lead to Barnett Fair means hair. Barney is short for Barney Rubble, which means trouble.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.