Imitation Of Agent Mulder A Mysterious Phenomenon

Their numbers are few but steadily increasing. They are young men, mainly middle-school aged, who have begun wearing outfits which may seem rather startling.

Instead of jeans, they choose dress slacks. In place of sweatshirts they wear white shirts and silk ties. But the most important element, the key to the whole ensemble, is a black trench coat.

Have our sons been replaced by aliens? In a way, perhaps. They are imitating the fashion style of their latest television hero, FBI agent Fox Mulder of “The X-Files.”

For those unfamiliar with the show, allow me to explain. There are certain special cases the FBI considers highly suspicious or unexplainable.

For the most part, the agency would rather ignore the cases, known as the X-Files. Enter agents Dana Scully and Mulder, special agents for special cases.

If there is any chance an alien is at work, you can be sure they will start poking around, trying to figure out what is going on.

Scully, assigned to keep an eye on Mulder, is a pathologist who is both bright and attractive.

Mulder, on the other hand is so unhip he has made the full circuit and had become ultra-cool.

He dresses as though he could pop into a funeral home at any minute and look appropriate.

This remarkably unremarkable character is responsible for the latest middle school fad to sweep the nation: conservative business attire.

Mulder’s wardrobe consists of black and charcoal suits, white shirts, silk ties, and the ever-present black trench coat.

Young men are snatching up black trench coats at the used clothing stores as fast as they go on the sales racks. Fathers are teaching their teenage sons to tie neckties. White shirts are being starched and ironed, all in an attempt to dress like the coolest uncool guy on television, a salute to an FBI agent who wouldn’t recognize an issue of GQ if it fell on him.

I know first-hand of this phenomenon. There is a boy living at my house who closely resembles my older son, Adam. Except this person insists on wearing the outfit described above to even the most casual event. Surely nothing less than alien forces are at work. How else to explain young men wishing to dress like corporate CEOs?

Coincidence or conspiracy? The truth is out there.

MEMO: Shanna Southern Peterson is a Spokane writer and home economist. The Clothesline appears weekly. Ideas for the column may be sent to her c/o The Spokesman-Review Features Department, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210, or e-mail shanptr@aol.com.