Machismo Ugly On Woman, Too

Dear Ann Landers: I recently took a job offer and moved to Florida. An old college roommate invited me to a party when I first arrived. It sounded like an interesting group, and indeed, it was. Within minutes, I found myself involved in a friendly debate over male and female athletic prowess. One fellow was being slightly obnoxious and ridiculed my statement that some women could compete with men on equal terms. I challenged him to an arm-wrestling contest, and he promptly accepted.

I work out regularly and am in good shape. I beat him easily. When I pinched his cheek and said, “Not bad for a wimpy guy,” he was embarrassed and left the party a few minutes later. I felt a bit guilty but figured I would never see him again.

When I was introduced to my supervisor the first day at work, my jaw nearly hit the floor. It was the man I had arm-wrestled at the party. He made no mention of the incident, but his manner was very formal and low-key. Needless to say, this is a dismal way to begin a new job. Should I apologize or let the matter rest? I’d appreciate an answer soonest. - Miss Showoff Who Goofed

Dear Showoff: Forget it, and hope he does, too. Meanwhile, please give up arm-wrestling at parties. Winning at this male macho sport will not enhance your standing with either males or females. And crowing about it made you look even worse. Lesson learned.

Dear Ann Landers: I read your column about the woman who had cancer but whose health insurer was reluctant to refer her to a more expensive specialist. Let me tell you my story.

Ten years ago I noticed a small lump on the side of my neck. When I pointed it out to my doctor, he said, “Don’t worry about it.” Every time I went for a physical, I mentioned the lump. His response was always the same.

I was scheduled for gall bladder surgery and asked the surgeon if he would remove the lump at the same time. He agreed and expressed surprise that my regular doctor had ignored it for so long. The lump was removed and biopsied. It was malignant, and I was diagnosed with lymphoma.

Fortunately, I’m doing well, but I hope my letter will serve as a warning to others. Even if your doctor says, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” insist on a biopsy. Thank God I did. - Lucky in Ocala, Fla.

Dear Lucky: When a patient discovers a lump and the doctor says, “Don’t worry about it,” that’s the time to find another doctor.

Dear Ann Landers: I hope you will print this essay by Elbert Hubbard for your readers who are dissatisfied at their jobs. - LaVerne in Unadilla, N.Y.

Dear LaVerne: Elbert Hubbard is the working man’s Sir Winston Churchill. There’s a lot of wisdom there. Thanks for sending it on.

“If you work for a man, in heaven’s name, work for him. If he pays you wages which supply your bread and butter, speak well of him; stand by him and the institution he represents. If put to a pinch, an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness. If you must vilify, condemn and eternally disparage, resign your position, and when you are outside, damn to your heart’s content. But as long as you are part of the institution, do not condemn it. If you do that, you are loosening the tendrils that are holding you to the institution, and by the first high wind that comes along, you will be uprooted and blown away, and probably will never know the reason why.” - Elbert Hubbard