The Slice The Dinner Hour Is Also Our Family Time…Plus Frasier’s On

Here are the top 10 reasons Inland Northwesterners don’t have company over for dinner more often.

1. Requires cleaning up first.

2. Memories of the last time.

3. Do not like anyone that much.

4. Rather watch “Frasier” reruns.

5. Fear that home smells strange.

6. Dread of inevitable shop-talk.

7. Two words: the bathroom.

8. Children frightened last guests.

9. Afraid they won’t leave.

10. Real people tend to be boring.

Busier than thou: Spokane is supposed to be fairly slow-paced.

But most of us know people who practically make a performance out of reporting how busy and stressed they are all the time. To hear them talk, they are so in demand and stretched thin that they barely have time to stop and tell you all about it. And there’s usually not much a listener can do but nod and murmur, “Yeah, there’s a lot on your plate.”

Until now. Your friends here at The Slice have come up with a constructive way to respond to these supposedly overbooked folks.

Next time you are confronted with someone’s “I have too much to do” complaint, say something like this: “You know, I’ve been thinking about your busy schedule. And I believe I have figured out a way to help. You’ve heard about groups such as the Friends of the Library, Friends of the Centennial Trail, Friends of Seven and so on? Well, what you need to do is establish a similar support network. Call it the Friends of the Johnson Family.

“These would be people who could run errands for you, attend meetings, drive the kids to soccer practice and what not. And because I’m sure people would agree that you are so much busier than the rest of us, volunteers will flock to this worthy cause. I’m ready to start making calls today. What do think?”

By this time, the person should be backing away. And your days of listening to the self-aggrandizing tales of superhuman schedules could be over.

Of course, these people wearing their I’m-so-busy badges might find your suggestion insultingly sarcastic and go away mad. But that works, too. Just so long as they go away.

For the record: This time of year, it no longer impresses anyone to say it’s still dark when you head off to work.

Today’s Slice question (complete-this-sentence multiple choice): “Diversity” is…

a.) a goal.

b.) an excuse.

c.) an asset.

d.) a threat.

e.) poorly defined.

f.) Spokane’s future.

g.) reality.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.