Cheap Seats
Couch potatoes everywhere, take hope
Fresh from selling Toyota Camrys and starting the paperwork necessary to become an FBI agent, Rod Milstead is back with the San Francisco 49ers, renewed of mind and body.
The popular guard had been waived Aug. 24 at the conclusion of training camp. Thus began a month of wallowing, both on the couch and in his mind.
“The first month was the toughest,” he said. “Anyone who loses their job, it’s tough. I started feeling sorry for myself… . I could tell you what every talk show was like in the month of September. I watched Jerry, Sally, Ricki, Montel, Oprah. When you don’t have answers, that’s when you feel sorry for yourself.”
El Presidente bows out
Dennis Martinez, the recently retired pitcher, who spent part of the 1997 season with the Seattle Mariners, has often been thought to have a political future in his native Nicaragua, but the former major leaguer says he’s not so sure about the idea.
“My wife said, ‘If you go into politics, you’re going to get shot the next day.’ She’s probably right. I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut.”
Nor could he get a pitch over the plate for the Mariners.
The truth hurts
The Philadelphia 76ers’ Allen Iverson’s reaction to all the negative stories written about him:
“I don’t pay any attention to it. Today’s newspaper is tomorrow’s toilet paper.”
At his salary, you’d think he’d be able to find some quality sandpaper.
Ten thankful reasons athletes aren’t role models
A survey done to help Sports Illustrated for Kids figure out its story content asked readers aged 9 to 13 to pick their favorite basketball player.
Nearly half (48 percent) of the 617 kids picked - are you ready for this? - Michael Jordan.
Here’s how the rest of the voting fell into place:
2. (tie) Charles Barkley, Dennis Rodman (7 percent).
4. Shaquille O’Neal (6 percent).
5. (tie) Magic Johnson, Grant Hill, Penny Hardaway (4 percent). As for Johnson, who hasn’t even played in two years, he drew 7 percent of the total girls’ vote and less than 1 percent of the boys’.
8. Scottie Pippen (3 percent).
9. (tie) Shawn Kemp, Muggsy Bogues (2 percent).
But is basketball king? Almost
A study by the Sporting Goods Manufacturers Association on the top 10 sports among kids 6 to 17:
1. In-line skating (7.8 million).
2. Basketball (5.8 million).
3. Slow-pitch softball (3.5 million).
4. (tie) Touch football, volleyball and baseball (2.6 million).
7. Running/jogging (2.5 million).
8. Fishing (2.18 million)
9. Soccer (2.16 million)
10. Billiards (2.14 million)
They call ‘em as they don’t see ‘em
The quality of umpiring in the baseball playoffs has been embarrassing to Peter Gammons, analyst for ESPN and the Boston Globe, and he points the finger where he believes the fault lies.
“First, because the umpires are chosen not by merit but by a welfare system, it can seriously be questioned whether games are being decided by umpires, not players, and in that case, the next question is whether baseball cares that the results have integrity.
“Because umpires cannot be fired, there is no incentive for good young umpires to work their way up… . Instead of protecting the game, the absurd power of the union protects the incompetents (and) results in disgraces like Game 5 and Game 6 of the (National League championship series).”
The last word …
“I was walking to work this morning through Central Park and I saw one of those birds. What do they call them? They make that sound, like a choking noise? Oh, yeah - Orioles.”
- David Letterman , DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo