Conflict, Sense Of Loss Revealed In Dream

Dear Nancy: I am a divorced, single mother with two teenage daughters. The oldest graduated from high school this year and the youngest wants to go live with her father in another state. Their father has always paid child support which has helped me make ends meet. My present job, which I really like, cannot support me. Since the child support is terminating, I have put my home up for sale. This dream really frightened me. Cindy

I am walking in a beautiful setting approaching my home. Where once stood a mansion, I see a war-torn ruin inhabited by several huge Siberian tigers. I know in order to survive, I must dodge, hide and run. I wake up in an exhausted sweat.

Dear Cindy: It’s not surprising this dream came to you now. You are watching your home being torn apart by the circumstances of your life. Losing your children is one part of this tearing apart, and losing the income that has kept you comfortable is another. The loss of your home must feel devastating along with everything else.

The “war-torn ruin” is probably a reflection of the struggle and conflict with your former husband and the ruins of your marriage. It’s also a picture of the destruction of your home and family as you now know it.

Do you view your former husband as an adversary? Do you feel he has invaded your life and taken control over your home and family? Could he be the Siberian tigers? Siberia is a cold country and this could be a hint that the emotional climate between you and him is chilly.

Remember, Cindy, dreams tend to exaggerate our feelings. I know you will get through these hard times of change. With the death of the old way of life comes rebirth and regeneration. Watch for new opportunities and new goals entering your life.

Tips for readers: Many people who have trouble remembering their dreams are actually blocking their dream recall. This could be because the dreams they do remember are frightening or disturbing and so they choose to forget them. This is an incredible loss of information and opportunity!

We all dream several times each night but usually the dream we remember is the most emotionally charged one, the most frightening or disgusting, the strangest, or the most expansive.

When your inner being tries to give you a message and you avoid it, the psyche will give you dreams that are progressively more disturbing in order to force you to listen.

When we work with our dreams over a period of time, often the upsetting ones become infrequent because we are paying attention and acknowledging the dream’s messages and insights on a conscious level.

Tending to these difficult dreams requires courage. It is not always comfortable to look at our fears or negative beliefs, but all dreams serve us. So pay attention to those disturbing dreams. They are priceless gems in the journey towards wholeness.

This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.

, DataTimes MEMO: Nancy Huseby Bloom has studied dreams for 18 years. Dreams may be sent to her c/o The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615, or fax, (509) 459-5098. Please send a short summary of the circumstances in your life and include your name, address and phone number. Nancy conducts dream groups on a regular basis. For information, call 455-3450.

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