‘Suddenly Susan’ Could Use Sudden Pep
I’m going to go way out on a limb and say that Brooke Shields is never going to win an Emmy. Not for her starring role on “Suddenly Susan” (NBC at 8), anyway.
It’s not entirely her fault, though she does read lines like someone training a German shepherd. “Susan” is a dull workplace comedy that lacks originality, humor and moxie.
Even an actress with more talent than Shields couldn’t make it work much better.
Witness tonight’s episode, in which Jack (Judd Nelson) decides to hire an investigative reporter. Susan, demanding a tryout, turns to her stuck-up high school nemesis Maddy Piper (Andrea Bendewald), now an ace reporter for a rival publication.
Susan’s attempt to break a story about a city scandal plays out in two scenes, neither of which are very clever. Back in the office, she trades insults (again) with Vicki (Kathy Griffin).
There’s nothing like watching a woman accuse another of being a cheap trick. That’s a real scream - and so refreshing.
Even less funny is a subplot in which Todd (David Strickland) finds someone he can relate to while cruising the Internet - specifically, in a lesbian chat room.
Can “Susan” survive as NBC’s Monday leadoff show? We’ll see. But it needs help fast.
Highlights
“Timecop,” ABC at 10: Logan (T.W. King) travels back to 1977 with a rumpled detective (William Devane) who encounters himself at a younger age. Devane’s son, Joshua, plays his father as a young man. You may recognize that cunning smile.
“Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS at 8:30: Ray and Debra (Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton) take an “active listening” course to cope with daughter Ally’s (Madylin Sweeten) stubborn behavior. But they find out it works better in dealing with Ray’s parents (Peter Boyle, Doris Roberts).
“Fired Up,” NBC at 8:30: Gwen (Sharon Lawrence) reverts to her old habit of lying when she meets with a potential client (Mary Page Keller) from her old agency. Gwen is one of the least likable characters in prime time.
If you enjoyed “Absolutely Fabulous,” you’ll find her funny. If not, she’s a bit too much.
“Football,” ABC at 6: The San Francisco 49ers (3-1) take on the Carolina Panthers (2-2).
“Cybill,” CBS at 9: Though CBS still looks at this series as one of its hottest properties, it’s run hot and cold since last season. Tonight’s episode, in which Cybill (Cybill Shepherd) feels blue when her advice is rejected by Zoey (Alicia Witt), sounds less than exciting.
“Ally McBeal,” FOX at 9: Kathy Baker (“Picket Fences”) guests-stars as the wife of a law professor with whom Ally once had an affair. Now he’s dead, and the prof’s unsuspecting widow (Baker) asks Ally to read a eulogy.
“George & Leo,” CBS at 9:30: When Leo (Judd Hirsch) persuades George (Bob Newhart) to bribe a public official (Larry Miller), guess who ends up in jail?
“Brooklyn South,” CBS at 10: The protest surrounding the death of a murder suspect builds to a dangerous height as a witness steps forward to testify that the man was beaten by police.
Valentine (Klea Scott) worries that her remarks to Jonas (James B. Sikking) may incriminate her partner, Lowery (Titus Welliver).
Cable Calls
“Diagnosis of Murder” (1992), FAM at 9: The Family Channel begins weeknight replays of episodes from the CBS series’ first four seasons.
The cable run begins with a 1992 “Diagnosis” TV movie.
Crime doc Mark Sloan (Dick Van Dyke) and his police-detective son Steve (Barry Van Dyke) are on the case. Bill Bixby (“The Incredible Hulk”) and Ken Kercheval (“Dallas”) co-star.
Talk Time
“Tonight,” NBC at 11:35: David Schwimmer (“Friends”), actress Ashley Judd and singer Mary J. Blige.
“Late Show With David Letterman,” CBS at 11:35: Fran Drescher (“The Nanny”) and singers Brooks & Dunn.
“Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher,” ABC at 12:05 a.m.: To be announced.
“Late Night With Conan O’Brien,” NBC at 12:35 a.m.: Fran Drescher (“The Nanny”), comedian Paul Rodriguez and actress Nikki Cox.
“The Late Late Show With Tom Snyder,” CBS at 12:35 a.m.: Actor-rapper LL Cool J.