Cheap Seats

So much for truth in advertising

The brown thrasher is a tiny bird that forages in leaves and has been known to flee from a fight. Needless to say, that’s not the impression suggested from the logo unveiled Thursday by the Atlanta Thrashers, who will join the NHL in 1999.

The logo features a fierce-looking bird with a scowl on its face, a tornado-like whirlwind for a body and a hockey stick brandished menacingly from its tail.

“We look at this as the real beginning of our franchise,” said Dave Maggard, vice president of administration for Turner Sports. “Now, people have something they can identify with.”

Even if they’ll never see this fierce creature in the wild.

When push comes to shove, it’s playoff time

Linda Robertson of the Miami Herald, commenting on what could be a heated (no pun intended) playoff series between the Miami Heat and New York Knicks.

“If (Miami) and (New York) can’t control their Vesuvian tempers during their playoff rematch, then by Game 5, downtown Miami will look like downtown Pompeii.”

Said Heat coach Pat Riley, “It’s a push-shove game, not a run-open game. And the Knicks are better at it than we are because they have hardened veterans who know how to deal with push-shove.”

Coach’s view isn’t always 20-20

Phil Niekro, the former knuckleballing major league pitcher and general manager of the Colorado Silver Bullets, commenting on the women’s pro baseball team that was disbanded after it lost its sponsor:

“A lot of young ladies in this country want to play baseball. They really do. And they can play. And they deserve the opportunity. Gee, this is America.”

And in America, Phil, a good business person abandons a financial failure before the goo gets too deep.

Good behavior doesn’t pay the bills

A sampling from Peter Vecsey’s version of NBA Oscars in the New York Post:

“J.R. Rider wins my Most Likely to Be Suspended During the First Round of the Playoffs Award.

“Latrell Sprewell wins my Most Improved Behavior During Next Season Award.”

The long way there

Danny Rios, the pitcher Kansas City claimed on waivers from the Yankees, was recalled from Triple-A Omaha and had an adventure trying to get to Oakland, Calif., where the Royals were playing.

It should have been easier, because Rios’ starting point was Fresno, Calif. However, he spent $127 in cash to buy an airline ticket, which left him short to handle the $85 fee from San Francisco International Airport to Oakland Coliseum.

Cabbies crossing the San Francisco Bay charge round-trip fares, even for a one-way passage. Rios had the driver wait while he found an ATM.

At least Rios has a better sense of direction than Pascual Perez.

The last word …

“There is no better basketball player than Jordan, no greater attraction in all of sports, no more compelling theater on any stage. How to say goodbye to Michael? They played ‘Nearer My God to Thee’ as the Titanic sank. The sheet music must be around somewhere.”

- Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune, lamenting the possible retirement of Michael Jordan