Cheap Seats

The stuff dreams are made of

Mark McGwire broke the St. Louis Cardinals’ team record with his 44th home run last Sunday, but the ball he hit apparently isn’t going to Cooperstown anytime soon. The fan who caught it and whose identity is not known beyond his first name (Jerry) had no desire to part with it. That was fine with McGwire, who autographed it and gave it back to the man.

“He said he had a dream two nights ago that he was going to catch one of my home-run balls and that was good enough for me,” said Mighty Mac. “I’m into that stuff.

“He had the dream. He caught it. I hope he has more dreams.”

Jerry is a lucky guy. For all the dreams some members of our staff have had, no one has met Gabriella Sabatini.

Let’s give the women some equal time to dream

Pete Sampras wasn’t at the latest Davis Cup match - hope people aren’t holding their breath waiting to see that happen - and he pulled out of this week’s Mercedes-Benz Cup in Los Angeles because of an injury.

But you can catch Sampras modeling fall’s “8 essential outfits” in the August GQ magazine.

Pete’s modeling career might not have the potential of Jan-Michael Gambill’s, but this was the best we could do on short notice.

But you can’t buy happiness

The following promotions were found at major league ballparks this week: an Arizona Diamondbacks beach towel and McDonald’s yo-yo, a Lucky the Ladybug Beanie Baby from the Minnesota Twins, a Peanut the Elephant Beanie Baby from the Oakland Athletics, an Anaheim Angels sports bottle, a Chicago Cubs key chain, a Florida Marlins duffel bag, a Milwaukee Brewers thermal travel coffee mug, an Atlanta Braves poster, a Florida Marlins bat, and to tie it all up, some Pittsburgh Pirates kids’ shoelaces.

Funny, the list doesn’t include a Seattle Mariners clutch victory.

Something’s fishy here

In one of the most bizarre deals in Western Baseball League history, the Pacific Suns in Oxnard, Calif., recently traded minor league pitcher Ken Krahenbuhl to the Greenville (Miss.) Bluesmen for a player to be named, cash … and 10 pounds of catfish.

“I still can’t believe they traded me for some catfish,” Krahenbuhl said. “It’s totally ridiculous.”

Krahenbuhl made the most of the deal for his new team soon after the trade, though, pitching a perfect game for the Bluesmen.

More Bluesmen

The strange deal was nothing new for the Greenville team.

Last year, the Bluesmen acquired a second baseman by sending an unopened Muddy Waters blues record and 50 pounds of pheasant to Sioux Falls of the Northern League.

“The Suns could have gotten some players in exchange for me to help their ballclub, instead of the stinking catfish, but they just don’t care,” Krahenbuhl said. “They traded me for catfish. Can you believe that?”

Sure. Maybe they were thinking Catfish Hunter.

The last word …

“I told him I walked four guys in an inning. He told me, ‘That’s OK, Dad, I walked six in one inning this year.’ I pitched like they do in Little League. Walk five or six, strike out the side.”

Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Mark Leiter, to his 7-year-old son Mark Jr. last Sunday, when he picked up a victory after walking four and striking out three, including Mike Piazza, to end the game.