Missing The Party Action Just Made Them Scream

They just wanted to party.

And who could blame them? Mark Wahlberg (“Boogie Nights”) and Skeet Ulrich (“Scream”) are young, attractive, popular and successful movie stars.

So of course they wanted to head up to the Hollywood Hills to help celebrate the upcoming opening of the West Coast branch of SoHo’s Wax nightclub.

They weren’t the only ones. It turns out such other stars as Stephen Dorff (“Blade”), Scott Wolf (“Party of Five”) and Andy Dick (“News Radio”) were already there, enjoying the hot tub, sans clothing, with a number of women.

Sadly Wahlberg and Ulrich never made the scene. Los Angeles police officers shut the party down at 1 a.m.

Question: Who yelled cut?

Loose talk

Mick Jagger, answering questions as to why, after 30 years, the Rolling Stones were doing only one concert in Moscow (in the San Francisco Examiner): “It’s a nibble. It’s a start.”

He’ll celebrate while chasing someone named Amy

Ben Affleck turns 26 today.

Actually, he was just happy to see him

When does criticism warrant hazardous-duty pay? When the artists being reviewed pull guns. That’s what Wyclef Jean of the rap group Fugees allegedly did to Blaze magazine editor Jesse Washington. Apparently, Jean was upset that Washington was planning to run a bad review of the LP by rapper Canibus, which Jean produced.

Some people seek Mike Tyson as a role model, too

Why did Sally Kirkland, 53, have her breast implants removed? “Many women look to celebrities as role models,” she said. “I don’t want to feel responsible in any way that I might be the cause of another woman getting implants and having to suffer the way I have for 10 years.”

Like, not being able to afford a new Mercedes

The Duchess of York is on schedule (pronounce that shed-yool) to become a television personality. She’s to be host of “Surviving Life,” a series of 10 one-hour shows devoted to “people and the real problems that they face in society today.” Her $80,000 salary will go to charity.

Whatever, they were truly streamlined, baby

Elizabeth Hurley (“Austin Powers”) says she didn’t intentionally flash the world last May when she wore a Versace (vair-sah-chay) dress that exposed her leopard-print panties. “I’d have worn a nicer pair if I’d known they were going to be on display,” she told Los Angeles magazine. “I have very nice tangerine-colored ones.”

Not even Carlin turns down free publicity

As for Boston Globe columnist Mike Barnicle, suspended from his writing duties for stealing lines from comedian George Carlin, Carlin himself has no hard feelings. “Mike Barnicle is a great writer who got burned by one of his sources,” he said.