We Subscribe To Bug Savers
Sure, those subscription cards that flutter to the floor when you pick up a magazine are annoying.
But they can come in handy.
Here at The Slice — “Seeking Simple Solutions to Everyday Problems” — we have discovered they are perfect for transporting ladybugs back to the outdoors.
You know how, when you see a ladybug in the kitchen or living room, your impulse is to safely escort it back outside? Sure. But it’s not easy to pick up these small insects without smushing them. And coaxing them onto, say, a paper towel or tissue doesn’t always work because they sometimes fall off those limp pieces of paper before you reach the door.
But if you can get the bug to walk onto the edge of a stiff magazine subscription card, your chances of a successful catch-and-release experience are excellent.
* You make the call: Mark Bekken saw something odd the other day and found himself wondering if it qualified as an “Only in Spokane.”
This guy at a gas station was attempting to wash his entire car using one of those squeegees they have in buckets by the pumps.
* Just wondering: Do your supervisor’s kids think they are your bosses, too?
* Good homes sought: A lot of people just aren’t smart enough or dependable enough to own pets. But if you think you’ve got what it takes, here’s a tip.
Animal shelter pets will be available for adoption today from 10 a.m. until 4 p.m. at the Spokane PetsMart stores, 14024 E. Sprague and 9950 N. Newport Highway.
* How to make sure you aren’t invited back for dinner a second time:
1. Say “So if you aren’t going to take care of them yourself, why did you have kids in the first place?”
2. Note that the neighborhood looks like a high-crime area.
3. Laugh when you hear the names of your hosts’ children.
4. Assume everyone shares your views on religion, WSU football, home schooling, golf, the role of lawyers, Costco and the merits of watching weeknight reruns of “The Simpsons” instead of the news.
* Pilfering candy from an absent co-worker’s desk is considered stealing only if…: You don’t even like the candy in question and are taking it mostly because you look forward to hearing, “All right, who has been going through my drawers?”
* Today’s Slice question: If you moved far away and then became famous, would you expect the Swell Paper to do fawning stories about you and refer to you as “Spokane’s own”?