Pend Oreille’S Lake Monster A Madrid Splash
Jim McLeod, North Idaho College English instructor and folklorist extraordinaire, theorizes the U.S. Navy concocted a Lake Pend Oreille monster after WWII to cover submarine tests. In 1996, Jim’s intriguing tale was published in Omni. Now, we have the Spanish version. Last month, “Monstruo del lago Pend Oreille: Un secreto militar?” appeared in Enigmas, a Madrid magazine. Translation? “Lake Pend Oreille monster: A military secret?” I think. I’ve lived in the English-only Northwest so long I’m lucky to speak and write English correctly (shaddup!), let alone remember high school Spanish.
Paranoia tracks deep
In her Christmas newsletter, Hauser’s D.J. Nall said she became paranoid this year when: 1. Her psychiatrist moved to North Carolina, 2. Her young family doctor closed his practice due to his poor health, 3. Her HMO canceled her insurance because of its financial problems. Incredibly, it’s all true … D.J. also writes, “When I try to understand my children, I just remind myself that the hospital gave me the wrong babies” … Bon Appetit confirms what most Coeur d’Loonians know: Jimmy D’s is a great eatery. Check out the December issue. You’ll find a recipe from the Sherman Avenue restaurant among others requested by the magazine’s high-brow readers. Sugarplums to owner Chuck Thomas.
Apology accepted
Orders were so backed up at Taco Bell on Appleway recently that drive-through customers were stuck awhile. One driver, however, chuckled when a plaintive voice announced over the intercom: “I’m sorry for the wait and inconvenience, ma’am; my heart breaks every time I cause a customer to wait for an order” … Laura Shireman, an S-R intern, laughed too, when an Emerald Cleaners worker held up her blue dress and asked: “Is there any particular spot you want removed?” … S-R readers are ticked off at the Washington Liquor Control Board for nabbing Washingtonians who bought cigarettes in Idaho. Our Spokane.net Web site received a record response to the story: 31 e-mails, and counting. The reporter logged about 50 phone calls, too.
Fan mail
“Humanitarian Bowl,” contends subscriber Doug Burr, may be the worst name ever for a football game. E-mails Doug: “Do we tune in to hear benign and nebulous U.N.-type speeches on peace and understanding? Or do we tune in to see a UI linebacker cream the Southern Mississippi quarterback? Good grief!”
Huckleberries
Say, wouldn’t Home Depot’s massive walls, under construction at Kathleen and Government Way, make a great screen for a drive-in theater? They’re big enough. And they wouldn’t blow over, like the screen at CdA’s last drive-in, which was located in the empty field fronting Coeur d’Alene Cinemas … How about CdA Trivia for $500, Alex? And the answer is: “Gone with the Wind.” Question: What message was left on the drive-in readerboard after the screen blew over? No kidding … Apparently, Gibb’s Tavern on Northwest Boulevard got religion after nearly a century of quenching thirst with the coldest beer in town. Notice in the Nickel’s Worth: “The entire contents of Gibb’s Tavern has been donated to Holy Family Catholic School” … Say what? On Tuesday, a car parked at Simon’s Do It Center offered this mixed message: “I’ll vote pro-choice in ‘92,” said the bumpersticker; “Happiness is being a grandparent,” replied the license plate holder … While bombs burst in air and Congress bloviated about impeachment Thursday, U.S. Sen. Larry Craig took time to write to President Clinton - about (drum roll, please) noxious weeds. Hey, leafy spurge will be around longer than Saddam. I think.
Parting shot
With everything that was happening last week, the Highway Evangelism readerboard message along I-90 didn’t comfort me as it usually does: “The government shall be upon his shoulders.” Then, I realized it wasn’t talking about Bill Clinton.