Peaceful Response God Answers A Persistent, Heartfelt Prayer For Deliverance With A Simple Assurance

It was a day like any other in the summer of 1964. I was driving along the road with my 1-year-old in her car seat on my way to a children’s birthday party.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, my heart started to race and I felt an unbelievable feeling that I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t get home right away. This was the beginning of panic attacks that progressively became worse over the next five years.

It reached a point where I couldn’t even consider driving. What if I had a panic attack in the car and caused an accident or worse?

I couldn’t tell anyone in my family, and my husband didn’t seem to notice. What if they thought I was crazy? I know I thought I was.

I became very creative at having people take me places, but I still felt on the verge of panic even if I was with someone.

I had been praying and praying that God would take this feeling away from me and that I could be “normal,” but I was only getting worse and worse. I couldn’t imagine ever taking a vacation or going anywhere where I would be alone and have to face this unbelievable panic.

I had become a prisoner in my home, and I was only 25 years old. I was so tired of praying and praying and never getting any relief.

One day, when my despair was at its lowest, I felt there was no way out. I started to cry and became very agitated and angry at God for not hearing my fervent prayers.

I was on my knees crying and pleading with God to take this from me. I remember saying, “God, I’ve been told all my life that you exist, but if you do, I need to know it. If you don’t take this fear from me, at least let me know if you really exist.”

All of a sudden, an incredible peace came over me, and I felt/heard (don’t really know which) these words: “You are not alone.” That’s all.

But the peace I felt was nothing like I had ever felt ever in my life. I can only imagine it was a peace people must feel at death when they meet Jesus.

The incredible lesson I learned from that experience was that God wanted me to face my fear and conquer it. He didn’t take away my fear that day.

But gradually I found articles I had never seen before about people who had conquered phobias (a word I had never even heard before).

God couldn’t answer my prayers until I was willing to take steps in faith that He would not let me die or go crazy. Every time I did some little thing to face my fear, I was constantly aware of that wonderful feeling of peace and the knowledge that I was not alone in facing my fear.

My life didn’t become perfect. My husband and I divorced, and I have had to face all that life handed me just in the living.

But what has changed is that every situation I face, either alone or with my wonderful new husband, is free of fear because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not alone.

If God could come to me that day over 27 years ago and give me a knowledge of His existence that is as real today as it was then, He will come to anyone.

But He can’t come to us until we are willing to face our fear and take the action we need to let God show us His wonderful healing power.

This sidebar appeared with the story: SPIRITUAL JOURNEY Please tell us about your spiritual journey - any experience where your faith was tested or expanded or changed or regained. Or any important and defining moment relating to your faith. Space limit is 400 to 500 words. Please submit your story to: Faith & Values, 999 W. Riverside Ave., Spokane WA 99210-1615. Or send e-mail to editor Chris Wille at chrisw@spokesman.com.