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Tiger-mania keeps on chuggin’
At the beginning of 1997, bookmaker Ladbrokes of London offered odds of 5,000-1 on Tiger Woods winning all four major tournaments.
This year, it has lowered the price to 250-1, aware of Woods’ record-breaking performance in winning the Masters last April by 12 shots.
He also is listed at 5-1 to retain his Masters title.
The odds are even money that he won’t invite Fuzzy Zoeller to the victory dinner.
By George, that was funny
On MSNBC’s “News Chat,” New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner was discussing the end of the sitcom “Seinfeld,” in which he was portrayed as George Costanza’s boss.
Said Steinbrenner: “If you can’t laugh at yourself and have others laughing at you, it’s pretty sad. Now that doesn’t apply to my players. They are not allowed to laugh at me.”
Fortunately for the rest of us, George has made it easy to laugh at him. Example: Signing Hideki Irabu.
A man who stands behind his word
Pittsburgh Steelers coach Bill Cowher is known for his malapropisms. A sampling: He called club president Dan Rooney a “no-thrills” owner when he meant “no-frills.”
He also said, “It’s a no-win, no-lose situation,” prompting MSNBC’s Gene Collier to say, “A tie?”
Wouldn’t a cold shower do?
Julian Vaudrey, 21, of England, stunned more than 17,000 hockey fans recently when - stark naked - he climbed over the boards and interrupted the NHL game between the Calgary Flames and Florida Panthers at the Saddledome in Calgary.
Vaudrey pranced around the ice surface unimpeded for several minutes before security officials appeared and police took him into custody.
Word has it, he was charged with a penal infraction.
Watch out for that aerial attack
Irv Kupcinet of the Chicago Sun-Times recalled that Marv Levy, who recently retired as coach of the Buffalo Bills, often used historical events in addressing his players.
He once explained why Adolf Hitler was stopped in Russia. “His problem,” Levy said, “was that he couldn’t win on the road.”
A horse is a horse is a …
Denver quarterback John Elway, 37, now a 15-year NFL veteran, vividly recalls his NFL debut, stepping to the line and seeing Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Jack Lambert:
“He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over. I’m thinking, ‘You can have your money back, just get me out of here, let me go be an accountant.’ I can’t even tell you how badly I wanted out of there.”
Lambert probably had the same reaction when he saw Elway’s teeth.
It was a flavorful departure
Barry Switzer, who recently resigned as coach of the Dallas Cowboys, brought many laughs during his days as the leader of America’s Team.
And the giggling didn’t fade just because Barry did.
Former Cowboy Joseph “Milwaukee Joe” Libowsky, for instance, had developed a new flavor for his ice-cream stores in Fort Worth and Bedford. It’s a pink concoction of chopped nuts and cranberry flavoring called “Canberry Switzer.”
The last word …
“Barry Switzer resigned as coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Man, just when Valley Ranch had new metal detectors installed.”
- Steve Rosenbloom, the Chicago Tribune
, DataTimes