On A Soap, Squiggy Comes Off Squeaky Clean

Now that he’s playing a doctor on the CBS soap opera “The Bold and The Beautiful,” David Lander’s Squiggy days from “Laverne and Shirley” are behind him, right?

Sort of. “Bold” directors keep asking to see bits of Laverne’s slimy neighbor, Lander says.

“They’ll say, ‘What if he does this? And what if his voice goes up like this?’ And they’ll do Squiggy. And I’ll think, ‘Am I playing Squiggy or this doctor or what?”’

All in all, he says, “I’m a novice at this, but I’m having a great time. On a soap, you’re faced with a way of working that is completely unreal. You have virtually no rehearsal, you do the lines essentially the day you first see ‘em. And the women are constantly on ‘crying call’ - they’ve got to be able to cry on cue, all the time, and they have to play it and play it quick. Remarkable.”

Loose talk

Norm MacDonald, on being dumped as “Weekend Update” host on “Saturday Night Live” while remaining under contract to the show (in Entertainment Weekly): “This is like hanging out at your own funeral.”

Wondering about her after all these years?

Olivia d’Abo turns 29 today.

It’s tough to be Graceful under the influence

Brett Butler’s “Grace Under Fire” sitcom has been shut down for the second time this season, apparently because of her ongoing battle with substance abuse. Last August, Butler entered a rehab clinic for a reported dependency on pain killers.

Hard to believe Homer and Marge aren’t one

Hank Azaria has a recurring role as a dog walker on girlfriend Helen Hunt’s “Mad About You,” so she’ll return the favor by playing Moe the bartender’s new girlfriend on “The Simpsons,” for which Azaria does more than 30 voices. Says a “Simpsons” producer: “Hank and Helen got along so well it’s hard to believe they are a real couple.”

Sorry, Sarah: two’s a party, three’s a crowd

A budding TV romance: Matt Perry (“Friends”) and Neve Campbell (“Party of Five”), who were introduced by Sarah Michelle Gellar (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”), Campbell’s big-screen co-star in “Scream 2.” Gellar, who thought she was dating Perry, is none too pleased.

Oh, come on, now, Rosie, he’s only kidding

Rosie O’Donnell fancies herself a feisty TV talk show host, but she thinks Jay Leno goes too far. “I find it really offensive for him to be doing jokes about Cody and Cassidy Gifford,” O’Donnell says in US magazine. “If he wanted to take on their parents, then he should. But he should leave the children, who are innocent, out of it.”

In other words, Parker never gets out bored

O’Donnell, by the way, splurged on a 27-foot powerboat to entertain her adopted son. “I put a life jacket on Parker … and I drive all around the island of Manhattan, by the Statue of Liberty and Coney Island. He loves it, and it’s a great way to get away from everyone.”

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