This Story Was Truly A Whopper
Two rather scruffy twentysomethings were excitedly catching up on the news while at the Burger King in the STA Plaza.
“Guess who’s in jail,” he said.
“Everybody,” she answered.
How to avoid sneezing on the customer’s change: “I’ve perfected a move where you whirl around, tuck your chin into your chest and sneeze on your shirt as opposed to your hand,” said a cashier on the phone who sounded like Julia Roberts.
The only problem is that sometimes this tactic makes her wish she had on a bib, she added.
“But it does work pretty effectively. People just think you’re having some kind of a fit.”
Migratory patterns: California is still the No. 1 source of newcomers moving to Washington from another state, according to figures compiled by Allied Van Lines. Deal with it.
Just wondering: If you are of a certain age, you might remember how TV shows such as “Bewitched” often employed schmaltzy va-va-va-voom music when a supposedly hot babe appeared on the scene. Well, here’s our question. Do guys who grew up watching those shows ever hear that music in their heads in certain real-life situations? <, Advice for singles from a married woman on how long to wait after getting someone’s number before calling that person for a date: “If you find yourself in this position and you’re asking yourself this question, you’re heading for trouble,” wrote Spokane’s Laura Cunanan. “You’re already trying to second-guess what the other person will think or how they’ll react. Before you’ve even had the first date, the neurosis has already begun. Should I call tonight? Tomorrow? What will they think? And on it goes, spiraling downward into a sea of dreadful insincerity…It would be better to be true to yourself from the start. Make the call that night if you feel compelled.”
Sounds good. We won’t add anything except to offer a multiple-choice menu of sound effects to have in the back of your mind as you approach the phone.
a.) B-17 getting shot down.
b.) “One Fine Day,” by The Chiffons.
c.) Theme from “Halloween.”
d.) The singular pop of a baseball being smacked with a wooden bat.
Slice answer: Michael J. Fagan’s motto is the acronym “DILLIGAS.”
You’ll have to guess.
Today’s Slice question: Wouldn’t Monday, Groundhog Day, be the perfect day to start your new zero-tolerance diet/total fitness regimen?
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo
MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. By the way, that classified ad gaffe we reprinted Tuesday wasn’t the fault of the agency placing the ad.