Cold Stares Can’T Deter Warm Heart

I creep softly into her darkened room, late on a hot summer’s night. There she lies, sound asleep, curled up under a cotton sheet. Her slightly damp hair is matted against her face. I check the curtain, gently stroke her hair and kiss her forehead before leaving the room.

She is my 6-year-old daughter, a “special needs” kid, who has been offered the gift of Down syndrome while on earth.

She will play Duck, Duck, Goose anytime, call out for French fries when we go by a familiar fast food restaurant and watch Disney videos all day if you’d let her.

This little one is so alive in expressing her unique self that I’ve accepted that we’ll never blend into the woodwork when we go out. People always notice her and her enthusiastic responses to everything. “Me,” she says when she sees me putting on sandals and getting my keys to go in the car, “Me.” She wants to go places too, meeting all the people who make this world go ‘round.

There are those who stare at a child who looks and acts a little different from them. They will whisper in front of us, their curiosity overcoming their manners. Some will look away, not wanting to acknowledge or interact with this little lightbulb who brightens up each day for her parents and two older sisters.

Some people can’t see beyond facial features and uninhibited spontaneity. They judge her without knowing anything about her. But she is truly one of God’s creations.

When she was a newborn baby, I found unabashed curiosity in her to be a startling response, disconcerting, that took some adjustment on my part. Now I welcome that interest, using it as an opening to educate people and to soften perceptions about differences.

I find myself drawn to other people with different abilities and I often go over and introduce myself. I think I would hesitate if I didn’t have a child with Down syndrome. But that self-imposed boundary of “Should I? Shouldn’t I?” has gone. My daughter who has three twenty-first chromosomes has enriched my life a thousand and twenty-one times.

There is also delight when we meet those people whose faces instantly light up when they see my child. They come over, bend down to her level, hold out a hand, and graciously say hello to this waist-high girl with the mile-deep heart.

My daughter would never think to say hello to some people and ignore others. She accepts everyone. Loudly and clearly she calls out “HI!” from the car window to passerbys. The old woman, leaning on her cane as she slowly makes her way down the street or the young, unkempt-looking man leaning against a downtown building are both greeted by my daughter.

I’m not surprised by their responses to her anymore. Sometimes the face of the most unapproachable-looking person lights up with such joy at my daughter’s greeting that I realize people need to be acknowledged right now for who they are as human beings, young or old, rich or poor.

She brings out wonderful qualities in other children who know that she is not exactly the same as them. Their caring, unselfish acts often bring tears to my eyes. Many times her teacher related tales of her Montessori preschool classmates rallying to help her with tasks in the classroom or during playtime outside.

She loves to go to church, singing as loud as she can, greeting our priest and deacons with hugs and offering handshakes to everyone around her. She beams when we go to Communion and a Eucharistic minister puts his hand on her head, telling her that Jesus loves her.

Someone once told me that my daughter came to earth with a mission to teach about love. She has Down syndrome, I was informed, so she can concentrate on her task and not worry about that extraneous stuff that bogs the rest of us down in day-to-day living. An ambassador of love, she gives to others without reservations.

This child of many abilities is a wonderful gift, a joy, a treasure. She is a cherished person with a huge heart in her little body, a true messenger of love in this world. My great teacher of gentle lessons, she is a blessing in my life.

Rosine, queen of Duck, Duck, Goose, I love you.