Cheap Seats

Stand by your man

Before the British Open, Mark O’Meara’s caddie, Jerry Higginbotham, bet 100 pounds on his man to win, at 40-1 odds. In other words, he made what would be about $6,500 in U.S. currency.

Higginbotham says he had so much fun watching O’Meara win, “I don’t even care if I cash it.”

Sure.

A fall goeth before pride

If at first you don’t succeed, quit and find something else.

In Sports Illustrated for Kids, some celebrated athletes admit they stunk at some other sports.

Steve Young: “I used to swim for a team at the Boys Club, but I can’t open my eyes under water. They finally told me to go home because I kept hitting the wall.”

Reggie Miller: “I once played four or five holes (of golf) and I couldn’t get the ball into the air. I had someone else hit the ball to the hole. Then I putted as if I were on a putt-putt course.”

Talking head bites hand, etc.

NBC’s Bob Costas on celebrity:

“When you see Barbara Walters sitting at the foot of a bed with Dennis Rodman and naming him one of her 10 most fascinating people of whatever year that was, you know that Barbara Walters has long since sold out because Barbara Walters doesn’t remotely believe that Dennis Rodman is fascinating.

“What she thinks is fascinating is an 18.6 rating instead of a 16.4 rating and if Dennis Rodman can help her get it, she’s willing to do that.

“That’s her version of Jerry Springer letting people throw chairs at one another.”

A man with new moves

Super Bowl MVP Terrell Davis, now known as the $56 Million Man, says he won’t be using the Mile High Salute touchdown celebration he made famous anymore, all in the interest of keeping things fresh.

Responded Mark Kiszla of the Denver Post:

“Doesn’t he realize the magnitude of his decision?

“Did Chubby Checker ever stop doing the twist?”

There’s a chance we could get him to stop?

Good will, bad ratings

Ted Turner’s attempt to foster world peace through athletics is a hard sell. The first three Goodwill Games lost $109 million and this year’s are expected to take a bath too.

However, the Atlanta Constitution’s Steve Hummer notes they have one edge over the Olympics, in that Turner “is way more cool than Juan Antonio Samaranch.”

Of course, Samaranch sticks around for his games. Turner flew to his Montana ranch after the first weekend and planned to watch on TV.

“It gives me a chance to see the production,” he said. “I’m not hands-on that much. I put my hands on a knife and fork three times a day. What else I put my hands on, I can’t talk about. No other women, that’s for sure.”

The last word …

“The product is not grunge enough for kids, and it’s too flashy for older people. Nike is trying to market something that there is no market for.

- Todd West, Jacksonville, Fla., store manager, explaining why upscale Tiger Wood items don’t sell