Cheap Seats

Brotherly shove

How competitive is Atlanta pitcher Greg Maddux? Braves catcher Eddie Perez put away a 2-0 victory against Montreal awhile back with an eighth-inning homer off Mike Maddux, using advice from Greg on what his older brother would throw.

“He’s my brother. I love him. I want him to do well,” Greg said, “but I’m trying to win, you know?”

But owners wouldn’t work on Maggie’s farm

Former baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn also has a surprising candidate for baseball’s next commissioner: Former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher.

“She’s the model of who baseball needs,” Kuhn said. “She’s intelligent, far-sighted, gutsy. All those things are what a commissioner ought to be …”

And what Bud Selig is not?

And now this from Primo donna

Primo Nebiolo, the Italian leader of track and field’s world governing body, is still bitter about the 1996 Atlanta Olympics - from the way track and field was organized to the fact that organizers didn’t serve coffee to officials.

Nebiolo called the organization “disastrous,” described the dismantling of the Olympic Stadium as “shameful,” and complained that Atlanta officials refused to pay a cent to promote a pre-Games track meet.

“We did not find any help,” he said. “The meeting cost $2 million and we paid all of it. The organizers of the Olympic Games of Atlanta did not do anything to offer a coffee, an aperitif, a little reception, a sandwich. How is this possible?”

Nebiolo said he was especially angry that, after the Games, the Olympic Stadium was retrofitted into a baseball park for the Atlanta Braves.

“They spent $260 million from the Olympic revenues when we received practically nothing. They have destroyed the stadium and built a new stadium in the name of Ted Turner. It is shameful.”

Guess the bazillion dollars you put into the Goodwill Games you founded didn’t garner much good will, Ted.

Not keeping up with the Joneses

Forgive Cincinnati pitcher Brett Tomko if the name “Bobby Jones” causes a temporary fit of insanity. Tomko lost a matchup against Bobby J. Jones of the New York Mets on May 19 then was beaten in his next start by Colorado rookie Bobby M. Jones.

“If the Dodgers have a Bobby Jones, I’m not even going to show up,” Tomko said. “I hope there are no more of them in the majors.”

Tomko next faced Los Angeles, drawing a matchup with right-hander Chan Ho Park. Rumor was Park’s name means “Bobby Jones” in Korean. However, neither pitcher had a decision, although the Reds won.

The jinx must not translate.

Probably left him with a huge Welke

Tampa shortstop Kevin Stocker, a Central Valley HS graduate, was knocked silly last week in Oakland when he collided with 220-pound umpire Tim Welke while chasing a pop fly. “I was going to catch it until the ‘Attack of the Phantom Umpire,”’ Stocker said. “At least he went down, too.”

The last word …

“I can’t just add water and hit. I have to work at it.”

- Phillies first baseman Rico Brogna, who takes 50-75 extra soft-toss swings following each team batting practice.