Graduates Face Real Life This Summer

Sat., June 6, 1998

Jim Kershner The Spokesman-Revie

Good morning, high school graduates.

Today, I am honored to speak to you on the subject of, “Everything I Need to Know, I Learned on Summer Break.”

I am referring to the three-month period immediately following graduation, a period which, as many of you sharper grads may have noticed, begins now and continues for three months.

This is your future, although not the future that graduation speakers usually refer to. They invariably talk about the far-away future, college and career, totally ignoring the fact that the future begins, technically, at 2:07 p.m. today.

And this will be the most memorable summer of your life, even if nothing much happens. You are now cut loose from the artificial world of high school and thrust into the real world of, you know, the real world. The next three months should be spent wisely, since it will determine the fate of your entire life, not to put any pressure on you. Here is what you may, or may not, learn:

Lifestyle — You are no longer merely a child, forced to live the way your parents live. You can experiment with different ways of living. You can buy a van and follow Phish on tour. You can start your own commune based on the teachings of Jim Carrey. You can rent an apartment and move in with some friends, just like on “Friends.” Of course, you should do none of those things. You should come to the wise conclusion that living the way your parents live isn’t so bad if you can do it rent-free.

Friends — Speaking of friends, this is the time for you to cement some of the most intense friendships of your life. You may never have friendships as close as the ones you have this summer. You should never waste an opportunity to stay up late and talk into the wee hours. When you get old, which will come sooner than you think, you’ll rarely get a chance to stay up into the wee hours just talking, and if you do, you’ll just be mumbling to yourself, anyway. So don’t stint on friendships.

Romance — The summer of your senior year is the stuff of Bob Seger’s classic song, titled … well, I forget the title but it’s the stuff of every Bob Seger song. This may be the most romance-laden season of life, made even more poignant by the fact that the person you will fall in love with will have a one-way plane ticket to Minnesota come September. For the first time in your life, you will understand why people think “Leavin’ On a Jet Plane” is such an emotional song.

Job — Don’t settle for just any old summer job. Try to get the most menial summer job possible. Frying nuggets is good. Canning chum salmon is better. Carrying hod is best.

Carrying hod will teach you some important things about life. First, that a good day’s work is worth a good day’s wage. Second, that a “hod” is apparently some trough used for carrying bricks. Third, that you never, ever want to carry hod again, and that you should immediately start studying for that college degree.

Military - Many grads will discover that a life of education and adventure awaits them in the military. Many will discover that they appreciate the structure and discipline of military life. Others will discover that they miss the freedom of civilian life. Unfortunately, they will discover this on Day Three of boot camp. No problem. Only 1,092 days to go.

Family - This is the time to gently pull away from your family bonds. After all, you are now fully-fledged and ready to leave the nest. On the other hand, it is a time to renew your family bonds as you realize that wherever you go and whatever you do, your family will remain your haven. To help nurture these touching sentiments, you will probably want to spend as little time as possible with your family. No sense in pushing your luck.

Wisdom - Still, you will probably want to spend as much of the summer as possible soaking up the wisdom of your elders. Your parents have been through many of the experiences you are going through, and they are more than happy to offer hour after hour of sage advice, sometimes in the form of humor columns. You should listen to them carefully when they tell you what to do, and then you should ignore it. Life itself is the best teacher, and the wisest course is to live life to the fullest. Not too full. Medium-full. Moderation, moderation, moderation. Listen to your father.

Jim Kershner has no particular high-school graduate in mind, although by coincidence his son Mike graduates today. To leave a message on Jim Kershner’s voice-mail, call 459-5493. Or send e-mail to jimk@spokesman.com, or regular mail to Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210.

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