Dreams Often Use Puns, Metaphors

Dear Nancy: I still occasionally dream about my former fiance. It’s been a year since we broke up, once I learned he was also seeing two other women at the same time.

He has two children I grew very fond of and I worry about them because he can be physically abusive and cruel. - Susan

I’m in the stands at a high school football game being coached by my former fiance, who actually is a football coach. His team is playing against a team of real buffaloes! The kids are ahead 3 to 0, but the buffaloes are getting restless and aggressive.

I go into the press box with the idea of getting on the headphones and telling him to stop the game before the kids get hurt. When I get there, the assistant coach and several other people tell me they had been trying to tell him the same thing, but he won’t listen. I’m frustrated and wake up.

Dear Susan: It’s not unusual to dream about our former friends and lovers. I’ve heard dreamers tell of people showing up in dreams 50 years after the parting. I believe our psyches use the material from these relationships to point out our wounds and enable us to heal past traumas.

Dreams constantly use puns and metaphors, pictures that are analogies of our lives. Your dream takes place at a football game. Your former fiance is a coach who also plays emotional games with people. He lied to you, and for a time had you “buffaloed” into believing he was an honest man.

Could the kids on the football team represent his two children? Are you afraid he’s being cruel to them? Your connection and love for them may be enough to pick up psychically that he’s also playing emotional games with them. Your dream demonstrates it’s probably futile to try to intervene on behalf of the children.

You can also look at the dream as if all the parts are different aspects of yourself. Do you have personality traits similar to your former fiance? Do you bully your inner child? If so, how can you protect that innocent and vulnerable part of yourself?

Dreams always come to teach us, Susan. I hope you can remain friends with his children, but I’m so glad you didn’t marry this man.

Reader tips: Some dream symbols are so striking that we know they’re important. It can be of great benefit to bring these symbols into our daily life. This can be in the form of a drawing, poem, a picture cut out of a magazine, stuffed animal or any representation you choose.

A stuffed or carved bear set on your desk can be a token of strength. A jester can remind you to lighten up, and those big red lips available around Halloween can point out the need to speak your truth.

If you hear a song in your dream, sing it! If you see a particular flower in your dream, grow it!

Let your dreams come alive. Your inner being will see that you care, are interested and want to continue to grow through your dreams.

If you have been given a gift in a dream, it’s a powerful affirmation to give it to yourself in waking life.