It’s Time For A Second Opinion
Q. My daughter wants me to ask you about my 3-year-old granddaughter’s eating patterns and weight.
She weighs about 29 pounds, doesn’t eat any fruits, vegetables or meat, except bacon. Her main foods are macaroni and cheese, donuts, pancakes, bacon, milk and water. She refused from six months on to take any baby foods. She is constipated most of the time. My daughter has discussed this many times with the pediatrician, but he tells her not to worry. We are all concerned about this, and are getting nowhere. My daughter and I know from reading many articles that most of the advice says, “She will come to eat all the foods when she is ready.” Is there anything we can do about this problem? She seems to be turned off by colors of food and texture also.
A. Generally, I advise parents not to worry about young kids’ unusual eating patterns. Kids often limit their diet to particular foods and strange combinations.
Recently, however, parents have written to describe the difficulties they’ve encountered in getting pediatricians to take a serious interest in their concerns about their children’s growth rates and/or eating patterns.
Reassurance is not a solution for a health problem. These parents urge others who suspect something is not right, to seek additional medical opinions.
One mother consulted four pediatricians and wrote a detailed description of observations about her daughter’s growth before a doctor took action. It was a pediatric endocrinologist who diagnosed Turner’s syndrome, an abnormality of the female sex chromosome. She advises parents who suspect abnormal development to see a pediatric endocrinologist.
Another parent reported a pediatrician was monitoring her daughter’s small size when a move to a another city resulted in her seeing a new doctor.
This pediatrician ordered tests for the 2-year-old, which determined the diagnosis of cystic fibrosis.
Tell your daughter to consult with other pediatricians. Suggest she compile a detailed history of her concerns, including her daughter’s rejection of specific colors and texture of foods.
Tell her to search the local library, university libraries and the Internet.
Knowledge enables parents to advocate more effectively for proper medical treatment.
Q. I have two stepchildren from my husband’s first marriage, and a son from our marriage. My husband’s first wife died of cancer when his son was 4 and his daughter not quite 2 years old.
Each child has always had a montage of photos of their mother, whom they refer to by name, Allison, hanging in their rooms. Recently, my stepdaughter, who is now 12, has begun to put up pictures of Allison and their father together. One picture shows the two of them holding hands and looking very happy. I’m not sure what to make of this. My stepdaughter seems well adjusted and happy. She calls me “mom,” and we have a very good relationship. Is she still grieving for a mother she hardly remembers? Should I say anything?
A. The answer is yes and yes. Talking to your stepdaughter about her biological mother gives her the opportunity to express new feelings and ask new questions.
Kids who lose a parent in childhood go through stages of grief at different times in their lives. As they get older they work through the loss of a parent with an awareness and understanding they simply did not have when they were younger.
You also want her to know you accept her interest in her biological mother as a normal, healthy part of her emotional development.
Your stepdaughter may be curious about Allison’s personality, how similar she may be to her, Allison’s relationship with her father — issues of great interest to adolescent daughters.
Encourage your husband to talk with both his son and daughter. He could give them a more complete picture of their biological mother, and fill in missing parts of their family heritage.
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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Cathleen Brown The Spokesman-Review