Courting Romance In Office Can Be Risky, Legally Speaking

Just don’t do it.

That’s what experts advise to potential Romeos and Juliets of the workplace.

Barring that, well, the picture gets very complicated - just like all matters of the heart.

President Clinton’s alleged affair with a White House intern is the topic du jour at office water coolers and gourmet coffee carts.

The bottom line with sex in the workplace, say experts, is proceed at your own risk. You and your company could be vulnerable to costly litigation down the road.

“Is workplace romance automatically scandalous or wrong?” asked Robert Gerard, an attorney at the Costa Mesa, Calif., office of Pillsbury, Madison and Sutro. “I don’t think so. But you fish off the company pier at your peril.”

Indeed, employers have become more fearful about being sunk by sexual harassment or discrimination lawsuits, which typically cost between $150,000 and $250,000 to defend, according to experts.

Consequently, they are more vigilant these days about workplace romances, especially between superiors and subordinates. Many have written policies forbidding such relationships.

Even rumors of sexual trysts can make employers jittery.

Nancy Mellinger, a human resources manager for a manufacturer in Orange, Calif., recalled the case of a married female co-worker who liked to have lunch with a male colleague. Rumors started flying, and word got back to the woman that co-workers were talking about her supposed adulterous affair.

Mellinger found the woman huddled in the company bathroom, crying.

After she met separately with the woman and the rumor-spinners, the issue died down - but not after a lot of hours were spent trying to diffuse the situation.

“As a human resources manager, you’ve got to get these things straightened out so people can get back to being productive instead of emotional,” Mellinger said. “More and more, employers are becoming involved in this type of conflict resolution.”

Phil Barquer, president of HR Alternative Inc., a human relations consulting firm in Laguna Hills, Calif., said employers are trying to minimize their exposure to sexual harassment and discrimination lawsuits.

And they don’t play favorites with accused workers.

“It’s almost like zero tolerance,” Barquer said. “There’s no shield for anybody now, from the president of the company on down to the person in the mailroom. Everybody is held to the same standards.”

Gerard and other labor law attorneys say they spend about 90 percent of their time on sexual harassment and discrimination claims.

“It happens all the time, and it makes employment lawyers crazy,” said Michelle Reinglass, a Laguna Hills attorney who represents employers. “We’re trying to keep our clients out of trouble, but it’s tough with all these lawsuits going on.”

The problem with office love affairs is that, like in the real world, they can fizzle. And that’s when the major problems can start, beyond the resentment and charges of preferential treatment that such relationships can stir up in the first place.

“Rarely do (office affairs) turn out well,” Reinglass said. “When they end, one person, who’s usually the person in the position of authority, ends up OK, and the other party resents it.”

This resentment can lead to a lawsuit if a spurned lover feels he or she is passed over for a promotion or treated unfairly by his or her former lover and direct supervisor.

Third-party lawsuits can be filed by co-workers offended by overtly amorous behavior between a couple or suggestive messages sent by company e-mail.

Attorney Gerard said your mom was right all along.

“Treat everyone in the workplace with respect and dignity,” he said. “That will do more to eliminate legal problems in the workplace than all the legal advice that money can buy.”