Schemer Doesn’t Deserve Mercy
Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I were married three years ago. Neither one of us is a spring chicken. Our first spouses passed away some time ago, and we wanted to live out our remaining years in quiet comfort. We get along together beautifully. It seems, however, my husband’s daughter, “Jeanette,” has an agenda of her own.
A year after we married, my 74-year-old husband suffered a heart attack and then a stroke. This left him unable to talk or move on his own. For many weeks, the doctors didn’t give me much hope that he would live, let alone come back to his old self. I was devastated.
Jeanette, however, assumed that her dad would never recover and proceeded to forge his name as co-signer on a loan. She was under the impression that if she didn’t pay it and the co-signer died, she would be home free.
Well, praise the Lord, her father made a miraculous recovery. The collection agency is now calling us, threatening to put a lien on our home. We don’t have the money to pay back Jeanette’s loan, and her father is heartbroken. The heart attack and stroke didn’t do nearly as much damage as his daughter did.
We didn’t expect our kids to take care of us in our old age, but we certainly didn’t expect to have a 50-year-old daughter who was counting on her father’s death to remodel her home. What should we do? - Up Against It in Florida
Dear Florida: Forging someone’s name can be a criminal offense. Tell Jeanette that she must make good on the loan or you will have her prosecuted for forgery. (A handwriting expert could nail her in nothing flat, and the hospital records should prove your husband could not possibly have signed anything during that period of time.) I urge you to follow through. That scheming woman deserves no mercy.
Dear Ann Landers: I am a 23-year-old woman, and this is my dilemma. Five years ago, when I was a college student, I met a wonderful young man. We became best friends. Over the past two years, our relationship has become romantic and committed. I love everything about him, and we seem perfectly compatible, sharing the same views, goals and interests.
The problem is that I feel very little passion for this man. Our love life is the only area of our relationship that is not perfect. Still, I feel so lucky to be with him that I question if I shouldn’t just push that issue aside and stay with him forever. I am talking about marriage.
Do I end it now in hopes of finding someone I can share all elements of a relationship with, or do I need to realize that every relationship will have its flaws? I truly care about and love this man, Ann. Would I be crazy to let him go? - Lucky But Confused in Santa Clarita, Calif.
Dear Santa Clarita: Your indecisiveness leads me to believe that you are not ready to think about marriage to anybody. After two years of a relationship that you describe as “romantic and committed,” you say you feel very little passion for the man. I suspect what is really lacking is a sex life that knocks your socks off.
I suggest that you date others and encourage him to do the same. Time will tell whether he’s the one for you. If he is, and you are lucky, he will still be available.
Gem of the Day (Credit Marya Mannes, journalist): American men are obsessed by money, and American women are obsessed by weight. The men talk about gain, the women talk about loss, and I don’t know which is more boring.