Dreams Offer Clarity, Perspective

Dear Nancy: This dream came to me after Daniel stopped calling. I was in love with him and felt he cared for me. But while we were dating, I wondered if he was leading me on because I knew he was seeing another woman.

Shortly after we split up, he married her. I wonder, could this dream be about our future together? - Annie

I’m in a tourist shop and Daniel walks in and asks me if I want to go for a drive.

I’m happy and say, “Yes.” He tells me he must first meet with his ex-wife for the second time that day. He dangles his keys in front of me and asks if I’d like to drive. I say yes and take the driver’s seat.

I begin to back out of the parking place and he becomes irritated and says I’m going the wrong way. He says, “Let me drive,” then gets out of the car and takes a picture of me. He leaves the tripod and camera and walks back to the car, taking the driver’s seat. I remind him of the camera and he says, “I’m not going to take that old junky thing.”

I snuggle up to him in the front seat and he says he needs to meet with his ex-wife again.

Dear Annie: I assume you thought the dream may be precognitive because of the reference to the ex-wife. While I don’t want to disappoint you, I want to encourage you to look at the dream in other ways. Remember, only you, the dreamer, knows the dream’s true meaning.

We often dream of things we long for. Dreams allow us to experience our heartfelt desires and often include problems we might encounter should they come true.

In your dream, Daniel seems to be undecided about what he wants to do, about what has value to him and where he wants to go.

He wants you with him, but he has other commitments (his ex-wife). He wants you to drive, but takes the keys from you. He takes your picture, but leaves it behind with the camera, declaring it has no value.

In the dream, he treats you just like he treated you in waking life, pulling you in and then pushing you away.

Could this dream be a reminder of the truth of your relationship? Would marriage with this man be a series of stops and starts and indecisiveness on his part?

Our dreams often help us view our relationships with greater perspective and clarity.

It would be to your benefit, Annie, to look at this dream in light of your experience with this man. Have you been idealizing him? Is this the type of relationship you really want? Maybe it’s time to let him go and open yourself up for something better.

Tips for readers: Dream workers often concentrate on a dream’s symbols and tend to overlook the value of stepping back and seeing the bigger picture. It’s important to do both.

Imagine looking at a dream through a pair of binoculars and focusing on details. Now turn the binoculars around and look through them the opposite way. What do you see? Instead of details. you see the bigger picture. The theme or general feeling of the dream stands out now.