Cheap Seats

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Former manager Davey Johnson is leaping into cyberspace, writing a column on baseball for an Internet service. Said Davey: “Yep, I’m joining you baseball writers. I’ve finally hit rock bottom.”

Hey, we don’t want him either!

Experienced drivers use the carpool lane

For years, Los Angeles Lakers coach Del Harris has been expressing his respect for the Utah Jazz, as well as acknowledging how well the team plays because of its experience.

However, he believes too much has been made of that experience.

“I saw some article or graph where it showed that the Jazz had 600-some-odd games of playoff experience and we had 300-some-odd games,” Harris said. “Well, to me, that’s still a lot of experience.

“It’s like driving to work every day. Some guy has a lot more experience, has been there 10 years, and you’ve been there five. But still, you’re not going to get lost on the way to work.”

But, like Harris, those younger guys might forget what to do once they arrive.

Assist Toyota

As soon as Todd Obuchowski hit his tee shot on the 116-yard fourth hole at Beaver Brook Golf Course in Haydenville, Mass., recently, he knew it was heading over the green and toward the adjacent road.

Nancy Bachand and her Toyota were driving past at about 30 mph when the ball smacked off the passenger side of her car.

It bounced back on to the green and rolled into the cup for a hole in one.

“I didn’t know for sure until all these guys started shouting,” said Obuchowski, a 34-year-old sheet metal worker.

That’s what you call a four-wheel drive.

Rub on, rub off

The International Amateur Athletic Federation (IAAF) has passed a bylaw making it illegal for athletes to try to “sneak a competing sponsor’s ads into track-and-field meets by getting their bodies tattooed with corporate logos,” according to James Christie of the Toronto Globe & Mail.

Financial genius

From Tom Powers of the St. Paul (Minn.) Pioneer Press on novelist Tom Clancy’s money problems in his failed attempt to buy the Minnesota Vikings:

“As near as I can tell, (Clancy’s) purchasing plan appears to be $10 down and the other $199,999,990 as soon as he figures out where to get it.”

Somebody needs a better agent

After the late Jack Kent Cooke sold the Lakers and bought the Washington Redskins, Cooke called Chick Hearn and asked him if he would announce an Redskins exhibition game because one of his announcers was ill.

Hearn did a professional job and Cooke was interested in hiring him. Cooke asked Hearn what his salary was with the Lakers. When Hearn told him, Cooke said, “You’re worth more than that.”

Hearn then replied, “That’s the contract you had me sign before you left the Lakers.”

The last word …

“No. He’s already got all my moves.”

- Mitch Richmond, when asked if Kobe Bryant has asked him for any tips.