Cheap Seats

Someday he may waive them goodbye

Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Ruben Amaro, who moved into an assistant general manager’s job after the end of baseball’s regular season, drove in a run last week. And high-fives were no longer good enough.

“Everybody was saying, ‘Good job, sir,’ when he got back to the dugout,” manager Terry Francona said.

Wouldn’t you know someone would have a beef

After Tuesday’s practice, the Minnesota Vikings had fried chicken for lunch. Later, an animal rights group criticized John Randle for picking on that segment of the poultry family.

No, the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals doesn’t care what Randle eats. PETA is upset by a popular television commercial in which the All-Pro defensive tackle chases a chicken that is wearing the No. 4 jersey of Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre.

“Why the big flap?” asks the group’s news release. “The commercial mimics what psychologists now see as a sign of criminal mentality, in that pleasure is apparently derived from trauma inflicted on a vulnerable animal.”

The group contends that studies indicate such behavior “shows a consistent pattern of cruelty to animals among perpetrators of violence toward humans.” The group is careful to point out it is not accusing Randle of criminal behavior, but it believes the commercial sends the wrong message to children.

In the ad, Randle sews a miniature Favre jersey and then is seen chasing a chicken wearing the jersey. The spot ends with Randle standing over a grill preparing chicken.

Memo to PETA

Carolina Panthers linebacker Greg Lloyd, on the NFL:

“This is a meat business. We’re no more than cattle. When you come into this business, you have to realize, ‘I’m just a piece of meat. As long as I get the job done, I’m here. But when I can’t get it done anymore, it’s like - next guy.’ “

You’d have to be crazy

Baltimore outfielder Brady Anderson thinks Cal Ripken’s streak may stand for all time, but not because it’s unattainable.

“Absolutely not. I’d have to see who would want to do it. Nobody said it was the smartest streak out there.”

Curses! Raiders fans again

Denver Broncos defensive end Neil Smith, on Oakland Raiders fans:

“These are the most low-class people I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve never seen so many low-class people. I’m being honest with you. They’ve got women sitting there (swearing at) people. This is a football team. I just hope they can spell as well as they can curse. I bet half of them can’t.”

Can you blow a whistle? You’re hired

Mike Littwin in the Rocky Mountain News commenting on the Denver Nuggets hiring relatively inexperienced Mike D’Antoni as head coach:

“My guess is that D’Antoni was in the room. You know how the Nuggets are on nationwide searches. They’re very big on them just so long as they don’t include a plane ticket or a long-distance phone call.”

Just when, baby

The last word …

“I’m afraid Lawrence Phillips’ next football game will be in ‘The Longest Yard II.”’ - Nick Canepa in the San Diego Union-Tribune