Cheap Seats

Room for improvement at the top

San Francisco Chronicle columnist C.W. Nevius flipped through the 49ers media guide and looked into the abyss … well, at least the one at the very top of the team’s food chain.

He noted that the first three entries are Eddie DeBartolo, Carmen Policy and Dwight Clark. Policy is gone, Clark may be following him to Cleveland and DeBartolo, of course, has been dealing with the feds.

But what about the future?

A 49ers follower always has to be concerned about something, even if the team is 4-1 and cruising through the NFC West.

“They are dominant,” Nevius concluded. “They are overpowering. They are unsinkable. But someone on the bridge had better keep an eye out for icebergs. Assuming, that is, that someone is up there.”

We hear O.J. Simpson is available.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em

When the Green Bay Packers played the Minnesota Vikings last Monday, a General Motors assembly plant in Janesville, Wis., shut down because about 140 employees failed to come to work, according to plant manager Gary Giles.

The solution?

About 100 televisions were made available in break areas so employees could watch the game when they were off the assembly line during Thursday night’s game against the Lions.

Wonder if everyone in the plant suddenly discovered a desperate need for coffee?

You see, he’s supposed to be nuts

Tony Kornheiser, in the Washington Post, on Mike Tyson’s psychiatric testing:

“What great boxer wouldn’t need counseling for his anger? To put it another way, when was the last time you saw Mr. Rogers in a ring? There’s a name for boxers who aren’t angry: shoe salesmen.”

Football players, too, are offbeat

Petros Papadakis of the USC Trojans is a Greek-American bearing gifts - including a gift of gab.

He can knowledgeably discuss literary figures ranging from Shakespeare to Jack Kerouac, from Victor Hugo to Joseph Heller, from Henry James to Sylvia Plath.

The Trojans’ tailback also has a knack for one-liners, referring to the location of his family’s Greek restaurant in a blue-collar neighborhood as, “You know, Sixth Street. It’s like the Fifth Avenue of San Pedro.”

A most unusual scholar-athlete, Papadakis also has a gift for running with a football.

Filling in for injured tailback Chad Morton last weekend, Papadakis rushed for 118 yards against California, including a 65-yard touchdown dash. He had another long run for an apparent touchdown called back because of a penalty.

Asked if he enjoyed classic Greek literature and philosophy, Papadakis shook his head and replied, “The dead Greeks are way beyond me. That doesn’t move fast enough for me. My dad’s into that.

“He says, ‘Become a philosopher, like the Greeks, be a man.’ He thinks he’s Achilles or Agamemnon,” Papadakis said, adding with a laugh, “He’s nuts.”

The last word …

“We started out losing our first three games, too, and everybody wrote us off.” - Yankees pitcher David Wells, trying to console Wayne Gretzky and the struggling Rangers.