Man-Made Side Effects Add To Damage Done By Affliction

My husband was diagnosed with clinical depression in the fall of 1997 after a suicide attempt - his fourth in five months.

The diagnosis was a relief for me because he now had to go into the hospital where he would get help. He didn’t have a choice.

He pleaded with me not to let them take him. He feared they would “find out that I’m really crazy and they won’t let me go.”

Once he was in the hospital, however, he received great help with his illness, and it was a chance for me to rest, knowing he was safe.

When you don’t know what’s going to happen day to day, it takes its toll. I had watched as his weight dropped from 180 pounds to 130 in three months. After the suicide attempts began, I would get ill if his car wasn’t in the driveway when I got home from work. I would fear that he actually did it this time. I couldn’t go anywhere unless I took him with me.

So when he went on his medication and was going to counseling, it was a big relief.

But then it came time for him to go back to work as a carpenter at Whitworth College. He had some mixed feelings about it. Facing his co-workers would be awkward - many wild rumors were circulating, but he had been instructed not to talk to other employees on the job about his illness. Still, he loved his job and he was eager to be busy.

Just as our world started to come back to normal, he was fired.

The school said the termination was because of misconduct, but its timing, coming so soon after his diagnosis with clinical depression, makes me think otherwise. The state Employment Security Department reviewed his case and ruled that there was no misconduct.

It had been hard for my husband to confront his illness and get help for it in the first place. Mental illness has a stigma that makes people who suffer from it fear for their jobs. Based on my husband’s experience, we know why.

Luckily, he was offered another job from someone who knew of his clinical depression. He’s doing well, learning a lot about welding, and he feels appreciated.

My husband takes his medication faithfully every day. He knows he can’t go off it at present.

Our life can still be a struggle sometimes but it’s a lot better than it was a year ago, before he learned that getting help is a sign of strength, not of weakness.