These ‘Arteries’ Sure Are Clogged
We’ve figured it out.
STA’s real plan with the new bus routes is to encourage walking and increase fitness levels in Spokane.
How else could transit authority officials keep a straight face when talking about shifting buses to the major arterials and then offer up something like the lower leg of the Lincoln/37th?
Shish kebab by any other name: Betty Johnson’s 11-year-old granddaughter Jakala referred to the dish as “Thing-a-ma-bobs.”
Encouraging local trend: Drivers mouthing the words “My bad” to other motorists after committing some minor traffic blunder.
Slice answer: Heather Leveque would rank Washington at the top of a list of “Most Beautiful States.”
“The Olympic rain forest alone grants it that status,” she wrote. “It’s my idea of heaven. Idaho is very beautiful, too, but when you live in No. 1 (pardon my smugness) you don’t care about the rest.”
Our view? Well, we would agree that both states belong in the top 10.
“Hard rain” defined: A reader said that’s when you’re towing a boat on the highway and so much water gets in it that the bilge pump switches on.
Presto change-o: You might have read about a movement whose adherents believe gay people can be “converted” into heterosexuals. Well, we have no comment about that. But wouldn’t it be great if there was some way to help reform people who can’t resist yard sales?
I am, said I: Everyone says it’s a great idea to keep a journal. But what if you are an idiot? Is keeping a journal apt to help you know yourself better? And wouldn’t that be scary?
Postage stamp themes we’d like to see:
1.) Americans who have been erroneously referred to as heroes since Ronald Reagan’s speech writers corrupted the the word.
2.) Moderately famous Americans who show little interest in being on television. (Could include J.D. Salinger, Garry Trudeau, Bill Watterson and one or two others.)
3.) High-profile entertainers or athletes who never cared whether people who don’t know them thought they seemed “nice.”
4.) Actresses and singers whose careers would have gone nowhere if they had been flat-chested.
5.) Celebrated broadcast journalists who had no more grasp of the complexities of current events than your average chimp.
Today’s Slice question: How close to the end zone would the offense have to get before you could come in and kick the winning field goal?